Fitness Boot Camp Week: Day Two



Today's fitness goal is to once again tackle the 4 mile challenge like yesterday. And to do 10 minutes of arm curls with the dumbbells.

Today's food goals are simple, stay below 1,800 calories and no chips!

I'll be watching two of my nephews for a while today as well.

I often think I'm as matured as I'll ever be, often thinking I'm extremely mature compared to a lot of people my age, but yesterday kind of opened my eyes. A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, and decided upon myself that it was wrong, and for a year and a half I carried on like I never had been delivered that news. That wasn't mature at all, as far as maturity goes I thought I had grown to the highest point, that there wasn't anymore room for growth, because I didn't need it. Now I see I still have some growing to do. I would not have allowed a friend or family member to disregard a diagnosis like that, so it was pretty hypocritical of me.

It saddens me a great deal I must admit, And it's kind of scary too, thinking back to that snow shoveling episode I had a month or so ago, that could have been the end of me. And that's scary in itself, the fear of the fear. I can't remember the last time I thought about my mortality in a way that opposed death, and now for the first time in my adult life, I'm afraid to die. I think it is because I feel like I'm making progress and working to get the life I always wanted. Doesn't this all seem crazy? It wasn't that long ago I was in the hospital under psychiatric evaluation because taking my own life was something I seen in my immediate future. Obviously my depression medication is showing good results, but I'd like to believe that it isn't just the pill talking, that it is me, that the pill is just untangling my wires instead of installing new temporary ones.

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