The Daily Dairy Of A Winning Loser

Every time I try to go to that blog I get anxiety. I want to say I've been following it since January, but may have started in February. I've read maybe four posts, even though all his posts pop up in my followed blog feed. I recently gave it another shot. I read about his epiphany day, when he basically flipped a switch and decided that hating himself and his appearance needed to stop, he began to love himself. I want to relate to this guy so much, but I can't.

Some people are stronger than others, he is certainly a lot stronger than me. I don't think I'll ever have that Ah-Ha moment, or epiphany day, about self love while I'm still overweight, I'm just not that strong. I've had some major setbacks this week, but I chose not to write about them so I wouldn't ruin the vibe of the week, but my issues with myself are just too deepseeded. I wish I were one of those people that could just have a sudden moment of clarity and then let go of the negative feelings, but it just isn't going to happen, and my journey is going to be much harder than it has to be because of it. What he has done with his life though is remarkable, and what he eats now looks both delicious and nutritious, but his success is intimidating, because I don't know if I'll ever achieve it. I'll admit though, I sometimes believe I can defeat obesity, every pound I lose is me partially defeating it. I just don't know if I can beat depression, before it beats me.

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