Beating The Haze
I have been in a mild haze today, negative energy and thoughts gave been consuming me for the past 30-45minutes. It has just come out of nowhere, and I'm very upset, and I'm worried. This is an all too familiar feeling, and I was hoping these episodes were a thing of the past. I do however feel like I have a more control over it. So I'm going to try to counter act the negative energy with some positive energy.
As you all know I've gained a staggering 5 pounds this week, the first gain of the year. We know that I've been obsessed with losing, and I've been disappointed with losing too little, and had a mini meltdown that week a few months back when I lost nothing at all (and took on the extreme low calories the following weeks that so infamously nearly K.O'd me), so this week gaining could have made for disaster. Instead I owned it, I knew it was coming, and I've been taking steps to correct it, however in the past, this most. certainly would have been the end. I do believe this means maybe I have grown a bit in a deeper more profound way, that I should give myself credit for.
I'm still not seeing the results of the actual weight-loss I don't look like some who has lost as much weight as I have, but what do see is how self aware I am about food in general I have become, even last weeks full-week fast food binge, even though I didn't track it. I'm much more mindful. A part of me thinks I can do this, and another part of me knows I can.
As you all know I've gained a staggering 5 pounds this week, the first gain of the year. We know that I've been obsessed with losing, and I've been disappointed with losing too little, and had a mini meltdown that week a few months back when I lost nothing at all (and took on the extreme low calories the following weeks that so infamously nearly K.O'd me), so this week gaining could have made for disaster. Instead I owned it, I knew it was coming, and I've been taking steps to correct it, however in the past, this most. certainly would have been the end. I do believe this means maybe I have grown a bit in a deeper more profound way, that I should give myself credit for.
I'm still not seeing the results of the actual weight-loss I don't look like some who has lost as much weight as I have, but what do see is how self aware I am about food in general I have become, even last weeks full-week fast food binge, even though I didn't track it. I'm much more mindful. A part of me thinks I can do this, and another part of me knows I can.
