Weigh-in: Its... Bad

I planned for this. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.  I knew that my results were going to be bad, and I knew why, my eating, and lack of activity. This sadly isnt one of those weeks where I surprisingly lose weight in spite of questionable decisions I made, no, this week I Actually did gain, not one, not two, but five pounds. That is a lot more than I figured. I'm angry. I threw out  months worth of progress. How did this happen. We all know the last few weeks haven't been the best, but last week, with the pressure of a funeral looming I just, ate, ate what I wanted. I hung out with friends to distract me from my realities, and I over indulged. EVERY SINGLE DAY in fast food, that is where I went wrong. I had Pizza Hut 5 times  last week, medium pizza all to myself each time, loaded with toppings, I went to burger places, like Sonic and White Castle, local eateries as well that don't mind throwing in hundreds of calories for the sake of flavor. I reverted back to my self from years-past. Apparently I don't deal with death, grieving, anxiety, and shocking revelations all at once very well, who knew?

I gained. For the first time since I've been writing this blog and been able to actually track my weight, I have gained. I told myself Wednesday that my eating habits that week we're going to catch up with me, to slow it down then if I wanted to redeem myself, but I didn't care enough. And now I have moved in the wrong direction last week I was 470 pounds, this week.... 475.

So, now I have to figure out what my next move is. In the past something like this would have ruined me, even with previous success, now, it's different. This was no fluke, I know exactly how this happened, but what bothers me is that I've extended my time, I've made this already long journey longer, that is what angers me, that's what is hardest to deal with. I took away a week-plus of progress.



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