Crumbling Cookie

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Well I found out early today that my brother wouldn't quite be making his debut today because he would have to make several bus trips over several days. This somehow eased my anxiety, I mean why not? For the time-being I'll take prolonging the inevitable, which historically worsens my anxiety. I was told he wouldn't be making it here until around Friday, however later in the day, near the end,  I'm told there has been a miscalculation and he will be home sometime tomorrow. Anxiety currently sky high.

Tomorrow will be quite the test, I am quite thankful that I have therapy on the same day, as my mind keeps going to dark places I have actually entertained the possibility of voluntary commitment, of course it would likely derail weight loss and what's the point of being committed if it's just going to make you worse off? Then I'll just end up in a worse off state where I end up on involuntary terms.

In other news I had a doctors appointment today, it's time to redo labs. Once again I need to re-check the kidneys, and vitamin D. Blood pressure was good. My original weight goal in Myfitnesspal was 295, I've finally updated it to 180, I can't for the life of me figure out why my goal wait was set to that number.

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