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Showing posts from November 22, 2015

Decline

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Another month nears its end and another weight in with poor results was had. Last week I weighted 434.8 pounds, this week,  434.8. I maintained.



It's been a rather bumpy month in terms of the mental health spectrum, and my overall journey. It's like my journey is a car and I'm suppose to be driving it, but this month i put on a blind fold, hopped over to the passenger seat and let my depression take the wheel. I never knew if I'm going foward backward, or if I was moving at all.

I haven't been doing my homework for therapy in spite of  stating I would put more effort into it awhile ago. I told my therapist I think subconsciously I maybe don't want to do the home work cause I want to stay at the edge, but cause I want to build up to jump off the cliff. Earlier this month I wrote a goodbye letter to my nephews, sensing my impending doom after entering the dark haze once again. I was telling them, among other things, how I was sorry that I wasn't a better uncl…