Brandon, Who Lives At Home

So I'm going on a 48 hour fast to offset the damage I did the past couple days, it started at midnight. Its going to be incredibly hard because I find myself wanting to eat even if I'm not hungry. Sometimes Ill remember the flavor of something and immediately start craving it. If I can survive this 48 hour fast I will have regained complete and total self control and I know moving forward Ill be able to go through with my plans. The plan is to do this 48 hour fast, actually its between 40 and 48, but Ill likely go the full 48. this will allow my body to burn a great deal of the crap food I have and produce minimum fat gain. Then from that point on its back to business, I'm lowering my calories down once again to 1,200 for the remaining 3 weeks of the  5 week program I started. 3 Meals  a day, working out, avoid triggering situations, integrate more with the weight loss community at large, write up a newly updated version of future-self/Ideal me , and that's that. ...

This is going to be a post of me trying to figure out myself, analyzing things. The journey has been going slower than ever, its taking me forever to actually drop lbs now, but why? Thursday I went to visit  my friends Nick and Melissa, they just had a baby, every time I'm over there my eating takes a dive (every single time). I told myself before that I wasn't going to break trend, I wasn't going to indulge in any of the temptation food they had laying around, but I did. I didn't just indulge, I over indulged, I had tons of snack cakes, and had a dinner far bigger than anything I usually would have, today wasn't any better. Now that I'm finally back home the I'm starting to let it all set in. So why am I breaking trend so much lately. Not just here, but at home. There was a period when I set out on a certain path, I was unrelenting, now I struggle to stay on one. To be honest I should probably be about 20lbs down further than I am, but since February ...

Because I like to punish myself, a while back I created a Tinder profile. It all started because I was helping a friend pick out pictures, and what to put in the bio of his. I knew in my heart of hearts, and my minds-eye that I should not venture down that road, but much like the dead cat that was too curious for its own good, so was I. So I made the profile and proceed to use the app as intended, swiping left occasionally, swiping right occasionally, it seemed a little fun at first. Then my brain happened, the thinking, the analyzing, the fun was over pretty fast. So I did get some matches but the Tinder culture is set up very predictably once you think about it, that being that its a very superficial platform, some people just endlessly swipe right to see who will match with them just to feed their ego, then they unmatch you. The first time this happened to me I was completely thrown, but I got over it and just came to expect that some matches are going to vanish (sometimes ...

Its been an interesting time since I  last blogged, I think I need to do it more, but truly I was burnt out. Honestly I was just tired of focusing so much on my weight loss and I just didn't feel like writing. I do a plan on changing focus a bit, I'm going to start writing about various things in my life and in general, and these things wont necessarily have to do with weight loss. So how have I been? For the most part, good. I just recently had a short bout of the blues , but I'm working towards keeping my mind from negative cycles. Blogging obviously is one of the methods. I'm going to start watching Extreme Weight Loss again, I stopped a while back when I learned what really goes on behind the scenes, it was also distorting my own weight loss aspirations. Now though, I'm just going to use it as inspiration, seeing the bodies transform should give me something to continue to work towards because lately I've been asking myself if I want to keep doing this, i...