Brandon, Who Lives At Home

Yesterday started off like any other, I woke up, took the necessary medications, and had a small bite to eat. After eating I relaxed in bed for a while. Finally it was time to shower, as I entered the shower I remember the new shampoo in the kitchen, I hightailed it in that direction, as I did I seen my mother in the living room on the couch with a look of what I can now describe as dread , but then couldn't quite make sense of, but I remember sensing immediately it wasn't good. I jokingly tried to anticipate bad news, I drooped my head, slouched my hands behind my back. It hadn't been that long since I had last chatted with her, I figured she was up to something. Then she said the following "Your grandma Dean died." I crashed into the couch behind me into hysterical crying and sobbing. This was a whole new kind of pain. The family had dealt with loss before, certainly, but I hadn't. This was the first time someone I had deep roots with had passed on, and it...

It's a incredibly sad day for me, I can't put my thoughts or emotions together, not even a proper post. I hope tomorrow I'll be able to piece myself together and fill you all in on what happened.

I tracked my calories all last week as I usual do, and I'm just a little confused. I mentioned before that last week I gained my appetite back and ate unapologetically. I expected if nothing else to at best maintain, at worst gain. Last week I weighed in at 477.0 pounds. This week I am 473.6. I lost 3.4 pounds, I'm completely taken aback. I'm starting to wonder if my core eating habits are changing and I'm not recognizing it. The scale continues to move in the right direction. Saturday was my moms birthday, I don't know why I'm just now mentioning this. I guess it's because I just don't like to acknowledge the fact that she gets older, it gets me very emotional. I just like to pretend she's ageless. She just turned 56, and as far as I'm concerned she will be around for another 156 years. She had a very quiet birthday. Do we all have points when we are younger where we think our mothers are super heroes? There was literally a time I thought my m...

I'm terrible at drawing people... A lady while taking my Stroll today. It was the only part of the walk that stood out and even that was not particularly exciting. Me: curteous smile. Her: curteous smile. The end  I usually take my walks when I assume there will be less foot traffic. Warmer weather has been throwing a wrench in my predictions as of late. 

It's a new weeks eve, and I'm not quite sure what it has in store for me just I yet. My agenda is unsure. Tomorrows weigh in will be interesting. It's been an interesting week of eating no regrets, however. I think I'm going to start doing a sketch a day, just for my own sake it calms me, and I like doing it, and I'm going to switch the sketch-n-walk to by-daily. Either way there should be a drawing up ever day from this point forward. At least for this month. I think I'm going to start up my reading again as well, I was so disappointed in that book mishap that I just went cold to reading all together. So I'm going to start reading a book, as well as start reading my Simpsons comics again. I suppose that is a bit of an agenda. I'm a week behind in my online course so I need to play catchup there too. I'm almost ready to just give in and just cut my hair off, and maybe by the time I've gotten my weight off to a certain degree, it will have r...