Brandon, Who Lives At Home

I'll be spending my Sunday organizing and switching together my action plan for weightloss  going forward. Did run into a bummer, the wristband replacement I ordered off Amazon was dud. So once again, no smart watch, more bummer, last week watching those heathen dogs I dropped my phone and now the glass where the back cameras are is all cracked up so pictures are sort of ixnay. I could take these as signs to wallow in pity and just tack on another 100 days of binges, but I'm just going to go forward. I didn't have a phone when I first started or a smart watch. That being said I may look into getting some kind of sponsorship this go around. I've seen some people on Instagram with them some people whom have made very little progress but have large followings, which irked me. But yes, Monday will be a very tough turning point as I put whatever I have cooked up.

Ugh doctors are interesting. Sometimes you have to just let them hear themselves talk, or  to insist to you how, or that you're wrong. The guy I seen yesterday insisted on talking to me like I was just any lazy fat person who was clueless about weightloss. I had to remind him  over and over yes I'm on the uptick but I've lost over 200lbs, I know how and what to do. He insisted on saying things like it's as easy as just doing this , just change your bad habits, just replace food with something else just do this, just do that . Just do it, and stop not-doing, it Yeah okay sir, anyways I did get to see my weight for the first time in awhile and it was shocking. Not quite ready to announce that number yet, I feel both compelled to get it down and also overwhelmed by just how high it is. In other news, Ive received a few messages from some of the people still in the php program.  Most recently, just yesterday said that it sux without me, I feel so conflicted by...

It's midweek. I've found myself questioning why I've taken on the task of doggsitting like I do every time. This time I'm just annoyed by things. They have a clear and abundant ant 🐜 problem, that means drop anything and you're swarmed. Not just that but they are just everywhere in general, littering the floor in the the kitchen, both bathes and are just everywhere. I'm so irritated by it. I won't be dealing with this again, I don't do bugs! I'm going to stop there about the pooch sitting cause this would just be one l ong post about every issue that's gotten under my skin. I have a doctors appointment today, it's looking into the weightloss surgery. There have been no decisions and won't be one, I'm just exploring. In other news that's a bit motivating, I have replaced the band for my smart watch, so there is that. So now once I begin lining things up, the dominoes will fall more easily. Having a smart and/or fit watch dur...

I'm dog-sitting until Friday . I'm feeling a bit 7more like myself someone I'd like to be . I'm laughing a hit more, joking a bit more. Just feeling a lot more okay. I do find myself having moments of sudden bouts of dread. Just feelings of "it'll all end up the same" "I'm still this" "I'm still that" and I have to immediately rethink. Not let myself stay there, not let myself entertain the thoughts. I'm still not eating right but I'm planning to put a close to my bad chapter by weeks end officially and begin getting back on track. Exercise, tracking the works.