I Guess It's Half Timing, And The Half's Luck

-
I'll be spending my Sunday organizing and switching together my action plan for weightloss  going forward. Did run into a bummer, the wristband replacement I ordered off Amazon was dud. So once again, no smart watch, more bummer, last week watching those heathen dogs I dropped my phone and now the glass where the back cameras are is all cracked up so pictures are sort of ixnay.

I could take these as signs to wallow in pity and just tack on another 100 days of binges, but I'm just going to go forward. I didn't have a phone when I first started or a smart watch. That being said I may look into getting some kind of sponsorship this go around. I've seen some people on Instagram with them some people whom have made very little progress but have large followings, which irked me.

But yes, Monday will be a very tough turning point as I put whatever I have cooked up.

Popular posts from this blog

Move Along Move Along, Just To Make It Through

-
Image
The title, lyrics from one of my favorite bands and one of my favor songs, The All-American Reject's Move Along . It randomly popped up in my head at just the right time. I'm not going to give up, I pretty much see how sort of ridiculous my feelings have been the last 48 hours. Lifestyle changes are not easy, it took me 27 years, 27 years of gradually weight gain to put me here, and its not going to be lost over night, not even in a year, but a lot can be done in a year, more in two, and so on, and so on. I have to keep sight of what I want, and that is to be thinner, happier and healthier. Going back to work will be a new obstacle Ill have to adjust to, Ill have to endure the looks, the stares, the embarrassment, Ill have to live through my worst fears all over again, but I know these are the last of them, these are the final years of these bad experiences. Because I'm going to continuing losing weight, and the people and actions that intend to bring me down, will, but won
Read more

My Food Is My Drug, I'll Be Usin' For The Rest Of My Life

-
Image
I didn't recover from Sundays blow. I started to eat off track and more often, things I shouldn't have. Slowly old habits started reforming. I had some cookies, a whole package, been taking meds later and later, mind slipping to even bleaker thoughts. I was up 24hrs. I see the signs of total relapse, the skipping medication, and not drinking my water are major indicators. I'm going to attempt to stop this.  But as of this writing I don't feel good about my prospects. 500lbs could be in my future. I got a new water bottle that same infamous Sunday, held 67 ounces. Loved it. ...Left it at an appointment Wednesday. I really beat myself up over this for some reason. It just made me a lot more enthusiastic about getting my water in and actually showed the water ounces on the side. I gained 5 lbs over last weekend, I knew it was water weight but it still sent me into a mental spiral. I knew I should not have looked at the scale. I've been feeling weak, tired, joints
Read more

Crumbling Cookie

-
Well I found out early today that my brother wouldn't quite be making his debut today because he would have to make several bus trips over several days. This somehow eased my anxiety, I mean why not? For the time-being I'll take prolonging the inevitable, which historically worsens my anxiety . I was told he wouldn't be making it here until around Friday, however later in the day, near the end,  I'm told there has been a miscalculation and he will be home sometime tomorrow. Anxiety currently sky high. Tomorrow will be quite the test, I am quite thankful that I have therapy on the same day, as my mind keeps going to dark places I have actually entertained the possibility of voluntary commitment, of course it would likely derail weight loss and what's the point of being committed if it's just going to make you worse off? Then I'll just end up in a worse off state where I end up on involuntary terms . In other news I had a doctors appointment today, it'
Read more

Archive

Show more