Brandon, Who Lives At Home

I've gotten back in control. The last few days I've been doing my 60minute workout, tracking my calories, drinking my water, and eating below my calorie range, and eating healthy. I believe I'm having sugar withdrawal, I've experienced a killer headache, cravings out the wazoo and muscle aches and pains. I know it will eventually pass but it's no fun at all. It's especially important I Stay away from sugar loaded things. My action plan is to continue this for weeks before making changes. The plan is as followed. I eat within an hour of waking up, I eat a lunch and dinner. Light snacks in between if necessary to curve hunger and avoid binges No trigger foods : donuts, cookies, snack cakes, honey buns, candy bars, peanut butter, pop tarts, granola bars, cold cereal Workout a min of 4 days a week. Mix between, home workouts and the gym. Log my food It sounds simple enough, but it never is. Blind perseverance will have to get me through, because t...

It's midweek. I've found myself questioning why I've taken on the task of doggsitting like I do every time. This time I'm just annoyed by things. They have a clear and abundant ant 🐜 problem, that means drop anything and you're swarmed. Not just that but they are just everywhere in general, littering the floor in the the kitchen, both bathes and are just everywhere. I'm so irritated by it. I won't be dealing with this again, I don't do bugs! I'm going to stop there about the pooch sitting cause this would just be one l ong post about every issue that's gotten under my skin. I have a doctors appointment today, it's looking into the weightloss surgery. There have been no decisions and won't be one, I'm just exploring. In other news that's a bit motivating, I have replaced the band for my smart watch, so there is that. So now once I begin lining things up, the dominoes will fall more easily. Having a smart and/or fit watch dur...

It's the first day of the month, it's also the last month of the year. I've  rebounded slightly in mood. Ive yo-yo'd in feelings about next year. My oldest brother is suppose to come down and visit for a week around Christmas, I have mixed feelings about that. I just keep feeling like I should have lost more weight, my other brother didn't make a comment on my weight  until recently (and it was in the form of  a question). Well the goal is to make this month the most active month of the year, I already mentioned the challenge my therapist gave that I started, that had me doing 1-3 indoor miles a day for two weeks. I opted to do the three miles, which made it the longest set of days in a row I've ever done the 3 mile workout. Needless to say my endurance for the workout has grown quite a bit. Acne In early to mid November I had a sudden explosive acne outbreak of my chin. My face looked more disgusting than usual. I had to go see my dermatologist who told ...

Halloween is just a day away, the true candy spreading will commence. This doesn't mean too much to me actually. Unless I'm asked to take one of my nephews trick-or-treating last minute which would be quite the anxiety inducing nightmare, but I would do it nonetheless.  A new week is about to begin and so a weigh-in will be had as well, it's not going to be a great weigh-in, and I'm hoping I use this as added force to move in the right direction I went to see my dad again yesterday, it was a bit of a shorter visit this time, but it was alright, someone else was there when I arrived, which made me a bit reserved, all in all it was a good visit and he seems to be doing pretty well still. I was able to the allow myself to watch the second episode of  Stranger Things over the weekend, that was a breakthrough, I'm not sure when I'll get around to the rest, hopefully soon. Tomorrow is Halloween maybe I'll watch a few then. Friday I attempted to redeem myse...

The last couple of days have not been ideal, but then again neither have the last couple of weeks, hell, the month of February in general. This weekend I made some poor decisions eating wise, I truly disconnected from my journey. It was the first time that I didn't write since I started this blog . I felt like no one wanted to hear about the bad things I was doing, and didn't want hear me talk about the journey being over anymore, I didn't even want to write it, and that's mostly why I stayed away. I didn't want to make things official. I'm back now though, I have regained my sight, and my priorities have returned. Yesterday I had takeout, and just really disappointed my self what how I ate, Ive come so long, in such a short time, I'm capable of so much more if I can endure the obstacles. I'm going to try something different, I'm going to try to take things in stride, we all know by now my anxiety problems are not to be underestimated, but I feel l...

Well guys, I couldn't do it. I could not make it to 3 miles today. I got just barely got over one mile and called it quits. My body just wasn't being receptive. I woke up with some back discomfort that seemed to be fading way, but came back right as I got ready for my walk. I also have not been mentioning whats been going on with my knee. Lately my left-knee has been getting stiff and maybe even a little swollen. Ive had problems with this knee since I took a tumble in high school and broke my fall with it. Its given me problems before, I was suppose to get it looked at last year but I couldn't  afford to go under the machine they needed to use. They told me that their best guess was that I have some kind of ACL or other ligament damage, but they wouldn't know until  they could use the proper machinery. I was prescribed some anti-inflammatory and some steroidal medication and that seemed to make a subtle difference. But when my knee starts to get heavy usage it gets st...

I tossed and turned all night throughout my sleep, and I got to bed quite late, actually I normally do. I woke up kind of aching all over. Had an egg and bacon sandwich for breakfast in addition to my regularly water in take. I don't know if Ive discussed this or not but Ive been drinking a lot of water. I have this big bottle (pictured below) that I fill up first thing in the morning and drink. I generally drink about a bottle and a half before i begin my exercise at 2pm, and at least another bottle full before the day is over.   Today I began my 3 miles a bit sluggish.  I just tried to go in with enthusiasm, and perhaps I did, but my body just wasn't into it. I was just struggling with it so much today and couldn't wait for it to be over, once I got to the one mile point I thought " this could be it, this is enough, at least I did something." But I charged ahead in spite of the defeatist mind frame I was in. It just seemed longer than ever, but I did it. ...

When I was attending University, I was taking a English 101 course and the teacher was a sweet old lady who simply loved everything about her job. She loved reading, writing and all things that related to them, and she spoke about them with passion. Rarely have I come across someone with that much love for what they do. The one thing she would urge to us every single day, even when she wasn't feeling very well, was that we always charge ahead with enthusiasm in all parts of life. Ive used the line at least once, or twice in previous post, but its something that git burned in my head, and something that I believe we should try to do. With all that said I went into yesterday with one thing in mind, that my 3 mile walk must be started and completed with no bullsh--, I charged ahead with enthusiasm, and had one of the best workouts Ive had in the over 3 weeks I've been doing all this, so my English 101 teachers mantra serves a great purpose on motivating you to go into things th...

Yesterday I had a decent nights sleep, but I have woken up with some back discomfort, I feel like I always do. My bed isn't the best but I manage, I also noticed I have a bit of a cough, one of those sharp itchy coughs that makes you feel like you need to force another to get that feeling from the back of your throat out. I also notice a bid of lingering throat pain, but its different than before now. Seems Ive traded off some symptoms for other ones, but all in all I almost feel back to normal. Its Monday and its not going to be the easiest week because last week was so inconsistent, but Ive already prepared my mind for whats to come, wont have another week like last week even though I'm not 100% recovered from this cold. My body is able, so here goes, stay tuned.

Honestly, I'm feeling a bit better than yesterday, and I feel as though I can charge into next week on a clean slate and full of enthusiasm. I had a rocky road last week, but I road it just as well. And although I had my faults I didn't throw in the towel, and I believe I handled everything rationally and with logic. I still think back to the time when setbacks like the ones I occurred last week would have spun me into a spiral of doubt and irrational behavior. Progress is progress. Today turkey is on the menu for dinner, with a side helping of multiple episodes of the Twilight Zone. Here's some cool news, Ive been noticing how I'm getting gradually more space in confined areas, first my friends car, and now the shower, it hadn't dawned on me just how much more space I had till I dropped my shampoo, and normally the maneuvering would be awkward and snug, but I had a lot more space. Its a small, subtle, but huge victory. Here's my weeks recap I did for YouTub...

Here is a picture of me at my high school graduation. This should have been one of the happiest days of my life, but behind that perfected fake smile is a lot of pain. I had lost over 30 pounds my senior year walking 5 times a week, drinking plenty of waters, cutting back on meals and swapping junk foods for yogurt. But that 30 pounds lose was invisible to the naked eye, and I still was, and felt huge. I remember the outfit my mother bought me, she actually dared to buy me a 4x shirt from Kmart, I was struggle with 6x then, so this was shocking. To my surprise it it fit, though incredibly snug, and it left a good portion of my belly exposed, but she bought me some black stretching pants, I just had to wear them over my belly. My mom said I Was handsome, but the truth was, I looked and felt a mess. And when I arrived at the high school it got worse. I was pretty much alone, as I looked around amongst my peers, looking for distant friends, I had no one. I simply stood in one spot un...

 I can not begin to explain to you how much I feel like garbage, I had another so so nights sleep, but woke up at 6AM, again with a freaking headache! I don't remember how long I was up, but I eventually fell back to sleep. Ive been informed my cold my actually last a week, which is devastating news. Ive always been that lucky guy to be sick a couple days. Its like boom, one day sick, second day sick, third day things are back to normal, so this just seems so drawn out and I'm not happy. I seemed to be doing a bit better yesterday too, my congestion seems to have peaked today. My nose feels so rough to the touch, its crazy! I'm suppose to do 3 miles today, but I really just don't freaking feel like it, like honestly. I struggled with 2 yesterday, and I just want to do nothing and be sick today, like ffs. I'm going to try to walk something today though, I cant make any promises. Stay tuned.

Seems like I'm surviving this cold I caught. Last night I had a bumpy nights sleep. Called myself going to bed early, but woke up at 3AM, only to be up for another three hours. Once I finally got back to sleep I woke up with a killer headache, which is now subsiding a bit. I'm hoping I'm getting my energy and momentum back because I know the 2 miles isn't going to be particularly easy. I'm still stuff nosed, watery eyed  and with sore throat so its not going to be a piece of cake.

I've been thinking, fantasizing really, about what my life will look like once I'm thin. The idea of walking into any old store and being able to buy cloths gives me butterflies of excitement. The idea of going to the movies or to a restaurant with my friends and not having to worry about sitting arrangements, or wondering is this booth too small , am I too much into the isle, or  just not having to worry if people are staring at me, judging me, these ideas are wonderful. Thinking of the future me, the thinner me, and being able to do the things I want, being more confidant, being able to blend in, its all exciting. Id be lying though if I said I didn't wish I could get to that point a lot sooner. The year has only just begun and I'm doing all the right things, but I know I have so much time and effort ahead of me. When I was in high school I use to want to look like singer Usher. Being big in high school was rough, but that's a story for another post. I am so det...

Its the last day of the weekend, and I'm just about ready for the new week to begin. Ive enjoyed my downtime, I'm ready to get the ball rolling. Watched a lot of video blogs about weight loss and Im feeling more determined than ever. Seeing transformations of successful weight loss in the Facebook group I joyed gives me so much more passion to achieve success. I have laundry to do today, some reading, and binge watching the Twilight Zone .

As you may know, my name is Brandon and I live a home. I'm a big guy, I tip the scale over 500lbs and Ive been big my entire light. My weight has always held me back and its kept me from pursuing my ambitions. Now I'm taking back my life, and I know that all it takes it massive, incredibly consistent hard work, but I can do it. Last year I told myself 2015 is the year everything changes , and I mean that. Ive begun working at it, Ive cut back on eating and Im making much better eating habbits. I made this blog to chonricle my trials and put everything out there for the world to see. I hope that this blog will show my transformation over the next 12 months, and beyond! This here is me, but not for long.