Brandon, Who Lives At Home

I am an addict.  Why would you do something that deliberately destroys you or your body , is what the thought that goes into my head when I hear about people addicted to hard drugs. Okay the thought isn't quite that generic but that's the point. You know what that drug is capable of, what it will almost undoubtedly do to your body, why start it? People start drugs for many reasons, I started my food (drug) as a child to cope. You're warned about drugs as a child, told not to smoke, stay away from alcohol, even condition to try not to get fat. But no one tells you that you can get addicted to food, and young child you cant articulate that you are addicted to food and have an emotional reliance on it too for the exact same reasons (what ever they may be) as some who is shooting up heroin or cocaine. Breaking the habit at any age is hard. Its strange being an adult, seeing the wrong and repeating it anyways. Its like you are on a little raft drifting down a river abou...

11/6 The  Quiet The familiar sound of no one else being around, just me and my many thoughts to circle around, the  would've, could've, should'ves  , then the daydreams where it seems I'm living some other life I'm thin, I'm smiling, I'm wearing cloths and shoes that suit my personality. There are new friends in my life who I seem very comfortable being myself around. Anxiety seems to be a thing of the past. I'm funny and entertaining. Life is so incredibly different because of making it to the goal weight. These are pretty powerful daydreams I have on occasions, they tear me apart sometimes. You just don't want to return from something like that. There was a lot of quiet in between things this year. 11/7 They Don't Get Me The other day I found myself explaining something to a friend realizing halfway through that I wasn't being listened to, they where hearing things come out of my mouth, but they were so disengage from w...

No that isn't a beached whale in full human regalia, it's just me. The infamous Beach In high school I went on my schools senior trip to Washington DC. The trip was intended to be 5 days, we would take a charter bus. See some historical sights yadayada. I forget how much the cost was but my mom thought it would be good for me to go, so she paid. I was nervous from the beginning, I had never spent a night out of town, but was a bit excited to say I'd been to Washington. My mom actually got me some new outfits to wear to the occasion, I hated them all. They were snug, and were branded, I've never liked branded clothing they looked warped and just bad on me. However, it wasn't like I looked better in anything else. The day came, well actually night, that we set off, I remember that night well, not that well because I don't remember what day it was  but I had anxiety and optimism. I hopped on the fancy charter bus and found my way to a seat, or seats rather,...