Brandon, Who Lives At Home

Im making it back. I'm feeling better overall. I'm actually quite excited where therapy can go from this point forward, it's a new frontier really, but not just for therapy this will be the start of lifting restraints and breaking illusions in all aspects of my life and that is going to be freeing but hard. I will likely tackle the subject here (or attempt anyways)in the coming weeks. Nick and Melissa have been concerned about me. I stayed at their place Tuesday and left early Wednesday because I had therapy, they wanted me to come back but I told them I had a real big session and it depended on how that went and that I'd let one of them know. Well obviously Wednesday had me glued to my bed skipping meals (but keeping hydrated). So they have been checking in on me every day, they have invited me to stay this weekend and I said I would. I decided to do FaceToFace Friday post on Instagram and I didn't fight myself as much as usual, though there was still a little...

Yesterday was rough, today is rough. There isn't going to be any exercising this week, it didn't happen yesterday and I skipped  yesterday's dinner and now today I feel drained and weak and I don't feel like doing anything , so no, there is no chance of any real pshyical activity happening. Therapy  was harder than expected, though everything was brought up that I wanted to bring up. It took me pretty much that whole session to finally do it, I walked out feeling good about it, but later just all my emotions hit me and I was overwhelmed. There went the rest of the day. Today I try to get myself together.

Well Im essentially in a pre-dark haze cocoon, I haven't worked out in two days (this includes today). Not because I'm feeling confident about the recent loss or how I'm eating, but because chronic depression becomes me. I decided to leave the house today and hangout with my friends Nick and Melissa to try to slither out of this cocoon. Getting out of the house was a good idea, but I haven't exactly broken free of the cocoon.

Last week saw me returning to my religious use of MyfitnessPal food tracking to keep an idea of my sodium levels and overall calories, typically I have pretty good idea about sodium (when I'm clearly going over, anyways) , I pretty much know when I've gone overboard, but sometimes there are surprises. I was actually slightly above a few days last week, however the week before last  I was like comically overboard. Also there is a pretty good chance that same week  I went over calories too a couple times, it's interesting just how easy something can seem harmless but, nope, what's done is done. I only worked out 3/5 days last week but it's better than nothing, and I was feeling every bit of those three days. My eating was to back to normal, no fast food, no over-calorie days. So last week I weighed 371.6, and this week I weigh 368.6 . I lost an even 3 pounds. I officially moved out of the 70s. The agenda for this week is to actually workout all 5 days, and st...