Brandon, Who Lives At Home

I'm In the bad place

Switching to a mostly daily update routine Clean =trigger foods Sober = binges, emotional eating. No food coping It's become clear to me that I need to fill my time. I need to be doing some thing. Get out more. I realize in the last year I've been more isolated and gotten out fewer than any time since 2015. Some of that has Todo with social anxi ety but a bigger be part has to do with perhaps the  shitty things I've exp erienced in the public in the last year. My great aunt stopping me in a busy store and letting me know how basically unrec ognizably fatter I've gotten. I had that incident with that random woman at my therapist  office where she less than subtly   inspected me and turned and asked the reception i st if I was a guy or girl . I had that incident with the laughing kids, the increased stares at the store and most recen tly that outlet mall incident  witha friend a few months ago. No one in my life has ever understo

Today begins the first day of my fast. Was supposed to begin two days ago, but I just wasn't ready.  Im as ready as I can be now. What after the fast, what after I get back on my regular routine and things are fine for a few weeks? What when the inevitable problem occurrence occurs and start eyeballing food to cope, then what? Does it all go to hell again?