Seeking Refuge In Food

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I'm In the bad place

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Loose Skin

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So there it is for all to see the loose, hanging skin on my arms that was once filled with nothing but fat. I didn't really pay too much attention to this growing phenomenon  until last year when a certain incident occurred that I deliberately decided not to write about because  I would not only discard the good things that happened that day, but turn this into an actual bigger issue. The incident occurred one of the first times I went to the gym solo and was coming back, it was one of the better days if I recall. I had my arm out the window (or on the window seal) enjoying the breeze and we were stopped at a red light. I noticed in my rear-view mirror that in one of the cars in the next lane was a guy talking to some woman, and he looked over at my arm and said "that guys got a really big arm." Then the light went green, it didn't really click to me at first, but when I was bigger I used to try to avoid hanging my arm on or out the window because I was emba
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Move Along Move Along, Just To Make It Through

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The title, lyrics from one of my favorite bands and one of my favor songs, The All-American Reject's Move Along . It randomly popped up in my head at just the right time. I'm not going to give up, I pretty much see how sort of ridiculous my feelings have been the last 48 hours. Lifestyle changes are not easy, it took me 27 years, 27 years of gradually weight gain to put me here, and its not going to be lost over night, not even in a year, but a lot can be done in a year, more in two, and so on, and so on. I have to keep sight of what I want, and that is to be thinner, happier and healthier. Going back to work will be a new obstacle Ill have to adjust to, Ill have to endure the looks, the stares, the embarrassment, Ill have to live through my worst fears all over again, but I know these are the last of them, these are the final years of these bad experiences. Because I'm going to continuing losing weight, and the people and actions that intend to bring me down, will, but won
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Extraction

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Hey everyone you would not believe the bloody nightmare I was in over the weekend, ah yes that tooth. I can't put it into words, but I was in pure agony. I couldn't sleep, literally I could not even lay down because it increased blood flow to the area. I  was in such pain my mother was stress eating chips like Hoover vacuums suck in dirt, poor thing. Is that weird, I felt bad for her feeling bad for me? Knowing there was nothing she could do. All the usual home remedies failed horribly, I could only take Tylenol which I might as well have taken nothing! Anyways  said tooth could not be redeemed and the dentist extracted today upon examination. I can't workout today because I have to take it easy, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, the week looks like buissness as usual, I'm thinking of maybe going for a walking-photo-taking-adventure ( this week, I know I'm going to have one but will it be this week? I have a few posts thought out for this week that I th
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