Seeking Refuge In Food

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I'm In the bad place

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Coping

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For awhile now I've had this idea in my head that things were just a lot easier when I used food as a way to cope with any situation. You're supposed to replace that habit with something healthier when yo embark on a weight loss journey, but I just left an empty void there. A void that I believed at times was worth the weight because at least when I had a situation that was hard for me, I could instantly urn to food, it was always there to console me. This past week I gave up on my weight loss journey and truly dived into the deep end, I binged and binged, I had fast food, and sugary treats, you name it, all in excess. One thing I told myself during all his is its nice to just be carefree again, its nice to have my confidant, food, back. I may end up miserable but at least at certain times I could make it go away while eating. The truth is, while I was doing all this binging and destructive eating I just felt empty, I kept waiting for that feeling of bliss and comfort I w...
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FaceToFaceFriday

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I didn't start my journey until late 2014, but I found this old picture recently that gave me a little perspective #facetofacefriday #weightlossjourney #losingweight #healthychoices #BrandonWhoLivesAtHome #obesity A photo posted by Brandon Hall (@brandonwholivesathome) on Jul 22, 2016 at 2:08pm PDT I posted the above to Instagram earlier, while I do see a difference in the pictures it took me very long time of examination to come to the conclusion, and in the end I decided it was a subtle difference, but a difference nonetheless which is something I would have been mentally blocked from acknowledging not too long ago. To be honest the both photos give me anxiety. I think I found the dumbbell workout I'm going to start doing next week, I looked around quite abit via YouTube and the one I found seems to be the most tame, there are a few parts that are cause for concern though, the squats, and the thing he does around 3:50 where he gets on the floor, on his back...
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Keeping On

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I'm down 0.6 this week, making my current weight 397.6 . Last week wasn't  particularly stellar. I've had a poor eating week this so far, so I anticipate a gain already for next week. Hopefully I will be in a better place next week. I just kind of got in a sort of "don't care" mentality. I've been having increased anxiety lately  so-much-so that I'm thinking anxiety may actually be my bigger issue between that and depression. If I can just add regular exercise into my routines it would really boost my weightloss but I'm still not mentally there to do my indoor videos, or go walking, and I've considered asking for a planet fitness membership but I've changed my mind. I have been reading my book lately, the Longest Evening Of The Year , and doing my homework for therapy. Those are some good things I guess.
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