Seeking Refuge In Food

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I'm In the bad place

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Coping

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For awhile now I've had this idea in my head that things were just a lot easier when I used food as a way to cope with any situation. You're supposed to replace that habit with something healthier when yo embark on a weight loss journey, but I just left an empty void there. A void that I believed at times was worth the weight because at least when I had a situation that was hard for me, I could instantly urn to food, it was always there to console me. This past week I gave up on my weight loss journey and truly dived into the deep end, I binged and binged, I had fast food, and sugary treats, you name it, all in excess. One thing I told myself during all his is its nice to just be carefree again, its nice to have my confidant, food, back. I may end up miserable but at least at certain times I could make it go away while eating. The truth is, while I was doing all this binging and destructive eating I just felt empty, I kept waiting for that feeling of bliss and comfort I w...
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The Weigh-in

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Lets get straight to it. Last week I was 448.2 pounds, this week I am 444.8. Down 3.4 pounds. I discovered yesterday that the psychiatrists office called Friday at some point and left a message. For whatever reason the phone didn't ring, anyways, it wasn't until yesterday that I discover that my FREAKING MONDAY APPOINTMENT WITH THE PSYCHIATRIST HAD BEEN DELAYED YET ANOTHER WEEK!!!!! I'm at my whits end on this situation, I think this is number 5 or 6. I like my psychiatrist even though I've only seen her a total of maybe 3 times since having to switch from the previous because of the infamous...   incident . I didn't have these issues with my last one however! I don't want to have to consider looking for a new psychiatrist, I really don't. The very idea gives me anxiety, but if they somehow have some need to push back yet another week, I think I'll have no choice. I did make it to my primary doctor today,  blood pressure was perfectly normal. I men...
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Passing On The Birthday Cake

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Yesterday was one of my (six) nephews birthday, he turned 6 and had a little party. I attended the festivity's mostly to take pictures. My nephew was his usual hyper-active self, and come time to blow out the candles I was completely drained, the good news is, I passed on the cake. He had a cool Cupcake-cake that was shaped like a snake (his newest fascination). When I was offered chocolate or vanilla, I politely declined. It was a small victory for my inner self-restraint. Ive been a fan of cake since the year I was born, and turning away such a treat a year ago would simply have not happened. A year ago  I would have indulged, but not this year, not in the year of forward, the year of change, the year of transformation, no way! Please enjoy this noisy photo from the event.
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