Fitness Boot Camp Week: Day Two



Today's fitness goal is to once again tackle the 4 mile challenge like yesterday. And to do 10 minutes of arm curls with the dumbbells.

Today's food goals are simple, stay below 1,800 calories and no chips!

I'll be watching two of my nephews for a while today as well.

I often think I'm as matured as I'll ever be, often thinking I'm extremely mature compared to a lot of people my age, but yesterday kind of opened my eyes. A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with high blood pressure, and decided upon myself that it was wrong, and for a year and a half I carried on like I never had been delivered that news. That wasn't mature at all, as far as maturity goes I thought I had grown to the highest point, that there wasn't anymore room for growth, because I didn't need it. Now I see I still have some growing to do. I would not have allowed a friend or family member to disregard a diagnosis like that, so it was pretty hypocritical of me.

It saddens me a great deal I must admit, And it's kind of scary too, thinking back to that snow shoveling episode I had a month or so ago, that could have been the end of me. And that's scary in itself, the fear of the fear. I can't remember the last time I thought about my mortality in a way that opposed death, and now for the first time in my adult life, I'm afraid to die. I think it is because I feel like I'm making progress and working to get the life I always wanted. Doesn't this all seem crazy? It wasn't that long ago I was in the hospital under psychiatric evaluation because taking my own life was something I seen in my immediate future. Obviously my depression medication is showing good results, but I'd like to believe that it isn't just the pill talking, that it is me, that the pill is just untangling my wires instead of installing new temporary ones.

Comments

  1. The maturity is admitting you made an error in judgement that could have been costly. Not everyone can do that. Immature would be blaming it on a doctor or family member. I think you are very wise and have great determination. Keep fighting the hard fight!

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  2. I totally agree with Polly, the fact that you always take responsibility for your own actions and decisions is very mature. And I'm so glad your wires are getting untangled! I have experienced depression and the world is so much brighter when that black dog is gone.

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  3. Don't be too hard on yourself Brandon. You are mature but I think we continue to grow and learn even as we get much older.

    In retrospect, the snow shoveling does sound way scarier now that we know your bp was up. But the good thing is that the weight you've lost and fitness you've gained must have really helped.

    I'm not in very good shape fitness wise and was so scared I would have a heart attack this winter while shoveling so I understand! I live in a really remote area with no neighbors so I was doubly wigged out.

    I hope by next winter your bp is back to normal and I'll either have moved or be dead. I'll do anything to avoid shoveling.

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