I Am The Same, I'm The Same. I'm Trying To Change
Fear & Loathing It wasnt the greatest week, I only worked out on that one day, Monday. I felt no motivation to do it any other day. The past few days, I haven't been able to blog because I havent been able to sort out my thoughts. My head seems to be constantly underwater, I'm trying to accept family matters, even as I realize home is a melancholy pit. I'm becoming slightly undone, I wish could I be more resilient and assure myself that all of this is going to pay off, and to stay strong and to stick to it. There is a very dark clout around me, a negative space that I really can't shake. I'm reminded a lot lately of my deep depression that kick started my journey in 2014, just in my day to day thinking. A sort of mental agony, wanting so badly to get out of it, out of that life, out of that body, and how I never thought it would get worse than that until it did last year multiple times, and got pretty bad earlier this year too. At the current rate I...