Brandon, Who Lives At Home

The week was quite...........(I got nothing)  Three trips to the gym left my muscles quite sore, particularly the upper chest and arm muscles.. It was not quite as a productive week as I hoped overall with reading, and watching a movie, because I did neither. And I cut short a self induced hiatus from friends because the issues they've been having, to trying to distract from my own issues, only to walk into the eye of their hurricane once again. I sadly came to the conclusion though, that I'm just rather miserable at home it seems.  I brought up the idea of maybe trying to find some kind of low key job, with my therapist,  because I'd like to get a phone, and just to be able to have some cash of my own (plus I don't like my gym membership being in someone else's hands, I haven't exactly been able to rely on anyone... ever) the idea of going back to work so soon gives me anxiety to be honest. It puts me in an almost panic-state,  I have flash backs of Walmart....

I convinced my friend into going to the gym again and he decided to go today, and will likely follow my every-other-day routine. Even though I was still a bit worn out from yesterday, I decided to go, we were only there for an hour and a half. I did my usual treadmill walk (45 minutes is my usual now), and used the chest press machine and leg extension machine, I didn't do as many sets as usual because I was still sore from the previous day. I certainly won't be going Friday. My friend said something interesting today, it'll be interesting to see what you'll start looking like now that you are working out . I just thought about that for a bit, interesting indeed.

Today was day two at the gym I spent just under two hours there this time (because I had therapy after.) Today I did 45mins on the treadmill, this time it included the cool down (so 50 mins total). Then I did various intervals at the chest press machine and leg extension machine. These are my go-to's at the moment. I attempted the elliptical at one point to switch things up, but when I went to put in my weight the maximum was 350, so I got off. To be fair the treadmill had a weight cap too (they have you enter your weight, age, time) of 400 and when I originally started coming with my friend earlier in the year I exceeded that by about 20 pounds I think, but I used it anyways. Something about this situation discouraged me from proceeding on the elliptical, however. I once again ended the day out with cardio after doing the chest press machine, and leg extension machine a few times. I  did a quick 5 minute walk on the treadmill to close things out. Am I in the clear yet? I was j...

Yesterday I indeed did go to Planet Fitness  on my own for the first time, I arrived at exactly 10am, it was quite busy almost all the first row of tredmills were taken. I found one at the very end, started playing my  playlist on my iPod and began. I was a bit ambitious with my set time of 60mins. I did not finish the 60 mins, I stopped at 45. I challenged my self at certain points and raised the incline which made it tougher and took a lot more out of me, I would decrease after 10mins. But by 45mins I knew 60mins wasn't going to happen, my legs were feeling like mush. And I couldn't drink right because my bottle was too big for the holder so I had to put it off next to the tredmill, and I wasn't going to pause the tredmill (and get down) every time I wanted to sip. When I got off the tredmill I explored some of the machines, I believe 7 in total. I was most pleased and spent the most time on the chest press machine, I think I'm going to figure out a regimen for th...

I dive into the future But I'm blinded by the sun I'm reborn in every moment So who knows what I'll become The week is here and I'm feeling, new, better. The last day or so I've been doing a lot of thinking and I think it has actually led to a better place for once. I also read all the nice comments on face to face friday post, thank you! I feel like I'm in a revival period, I'm awakening to a lot of things and I feel like I'm prepared to balance things better (since I have a tendency to get trapped by negativity, to dwell). The Weigh-in Last week I spent most of it laying low at my friends since a movie was shooting on my street and it was a big deal and my anxiety and nerves could not handle that going on outside my doorstep. Over there I often had a few Oreos from time to time, and there was some other cookie I had as well. I didn't  binge or anything but sometimes I had more than 2 (a serving). This was really my only eating issue over th...

An interesting week is certainly about to unfold. It will be my first time going to the gym solo, I believe earlier in the year I even admitted that having a friend to go with certainty helped  to ease a bit of the anxiety (abit). This is like wiping the slate clean all over again, so I'm quite anxious but also excited about what frequent visits to the gym could mean for my journey. The plan is to do my dumbbell workouts even on days that I go to the gym, that's the plan anyways, I'm still not sure how that whole squat , and floor thing will work out but we shall see. The rest of the weeks agenda will be to make sure I'm eating enough, or frequently enough to compensate for the added activities. Certainly make sure I stay hydrated. Just for fun, since I enjoyed watching that movie last week, I really think I should watch a few movies this week. Or maybe read, apparently a certain someone has read nine books, but in literally a year I have not finished the one I star...