Am I Out The Woods Yet

Today was day two at the gym I spent just under two hours there this time (because I had therapy after.) Today I did 45mins on the treadmill, this time it included the cool down (so 50 mins total). Then I did various intervals at the chest press machine and leg extension machine. These are my go-to's at the moment. I attempted the elliptical at one point to switch things up, but when I went to put in my weight the maximum was 350, so I got off. To be fair the treadmill had a weight cap too (they have you enter your weight, age, time) of 400 and when I originally started coming with my friend earlier in the year I exceeded that by about 20 pounds I think, but I used it anyways. Something about this situation discouraged me from proceeding on the elliptical, however. I once again ended the day out with cardio after doing the chest press machine, and leg extension machine a few times. I  did a quick 5 minute walk on the treadmill to close things out.

Am I in the clear yet?

I was just starting to feel a little good about myself and my progress, and then I'm right back where I was. I'm thinking about how I still don't look like I lost that much weight, or that I need to lose a lot more weight to look like someone who has lost a lot of weight. I showed my mom that picture of me in that planet fitness shirt (timer, tripod) and she said wow, good and did a thumbs up, and I felt nothing. She just didn't really have the response I expected, she pretty much never has. It's really breaking me down lately realizing just how meaningless I am in the grand scheme of things to the family, and I don't know why this bothers me so much lately, because this isn't really new. No one has been genuinely interested in what I've had going on. My therapist asked me today if my aunt getting weight loss surgery would be an issue. In all honesty the only issue I could see would be the family acknowledging  the significance of her weight loss, having been blind and mute to mine (this will almost certainly happen). My aunt by the way had her surgery yesterday (I had the day wrong) it went well, she's now on the road to recovery. I'm very much deep in the woods

Yesterday I  didn't do my dumbbell workout at home, I planned to do it later in the evening, and then as it got later I just forgot. I needed to escape so I decided hang out with Nick and Melissa, so much for taking a break from those two for a bit. Also I had Taco Bell for dinner, two chicken flatbread sandwhich things, which I forgot to take pictures (for Instagram) cause we were hunting Pokemon so.....


  1. I'm not sure what response you expected from your mum? She said wow! That seems pretty good to me. And she sees you every day, losing weight gradually, so it takes old/new photos to point out the change.

    1. Sincerity I guess, it could be in my head but she has been very cavalier about the journey at large.


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