Brandon, Who Lives At Home

I'm feeling drained today, likely do to poor nutrition, I was supposed to up my veggie intake this week, but did not, I'm certainly increasing it in the next week. I think  (big think) I'm banning chips for the week from myself. I think I've been eating in a very luxurious way to some extent. I've been losing weight eating what I want to eat for the most part, how ideal is that! I think it's really stalling things. Months ago I was really hard on my self and had a ton of vegetables in rotation, of course I was also under eating so I felt the same if not worse ( but I was losing more, and I'd seriously argue it was worth it ). I really need to start exercising again too. I just need to find a balance, that's an area I'm uncomfortable with the idea of, imbalance on this journey has given me the best results. It might be time to be critical again. I can eat a maximum of 3,450 calories, here's what I ate today Breakfast   4.3 oz smoked saus...

Its been an interesting week, my nephew, got an extended stay, he was originally scheduled to leave Monday but gets to stay until this coming Sunday, until recent events. We were informed that he would be leaving Saturday evening because his other uncle (from his mothers side) is starring in some local horror movie that is having its premier the same night and they want him there, my mom will also be attending. I'm going to spend as much time with him as I can before he leaves and finally have that dance-off that he's been asking me about since I joked about it on the phone (Oy vey!), I borrowed my friends Xbox One so we could have a bigger variety of games to play, we've been playing a fun game called Rayman Legends. I'm not as sad about him leaving as I normally might be, maybe because he actually might be back next week (though chances are low) but more likely its because mom keeps buying tons of sugary temptation food and snack chips. I've done a rather stella...

I had a psychiatrist appointment, I arrived early and had to wait in the lobby with other patients. I often have to wait in the lobby regardless of when I've arrive, but today was different, I found myself the unfortunate and unintentional listener of a very dark conversation between two woman of indistinguishable ages (but looked rather young than I assumed, I presume), the topics jumped from their children in foster homes, to ones potential home eviction, to ones once homelessness post-rape. I was completely shocked by the complete open nature of there conversation but it was really just getting under my skin, doom and gloom doesn't really begin to describe it one of the many sensations overtaking me. The worse part of this was one of the girls tone (let's call her girl A) to her own stories. She had displayed a certain sense of carelessness and poor priorities that was really making me feel a certain way about her. At some point she told the other girl (girl B) about som...

Been a decent day. I started that book last night before bed, got one chapter in, I really like it so far, it's going to be a fun read. That new class I started also had a good debut I'm very  interested in where this course is heading. Today I gave the rest of the hot dogs to a friend, they are out of the house, so those are gone, and are part of me wishes they weren't.  Blërg. I can eat a maximum of 3,450 calories. Today I ate the following. Breakfast 31 grams of Strawberry Honey Bunches Of Oats with  a cup of  soy milk, and  2 cinnamon toaster pastries 620 total calories Dinner with friends @ Taco Bell Bacon Club Chalupa, Hard Shell Taco, Supreme Burrito 1,588 total calories 3 Cap'n Chrunch Berries Delight The total for these (255) were already added to dinner So there you have it, I consumed a grand total of 2,208 calories.

It was weight-in, and the results were satisfactory. Last week I weighed in at 472 pounds, and this week I am 469! I'm finally out of the 70s!  I lost 3 pounds last week. Once I get to 450, I think that's when all this will maybe start getting real to me, I don't know. It just dawned on me that, in 9 pounds I'll be 100 pounds lighter than when the doctors last had me on record when I first seen them this year. They had me at 560, officially. Of course unofficially I was nearly, or possibly, 600lbs last year (that had not seen me in nearly two years) . Is this something to maybe celebrate? I don't know, probably not. Another mostly stable week, up until the weekend, then things started yo-yo/spiking right at the end, not ideal at all, and I cant quite pinpoint these particular spikes reasons  either. Likely a combination of many factors. The good news is, it seems to have been very isolated, there was that irritability earlier in the week, but that was not rela...

Today I have certainly been in a weird mood, it's hard to describe but it's not good, it's not quite upbeat or mellow like other days of the week. It's very emotional, feels like I'm having an internal conflict about something that I myself am unaware of. It feels like I need to get a good yell out, feels like I have something bottled up.  Ive narrowed down which book I'm going to read to two. A spooky Thriller called The Darkest Evening Of The Year. And Millie's Fling , this one seems to be the only light-hearted option in my selection. One of these two will be the new book of interest for X amount of time.  I'm feeling indifferent about tomorrow's weigh-in. Max Calories Allowed 3,450. Today I had... Breakfast   3.4 oz of sausage, and the remaining 4.6 oz baked potato salad 537 total calories Lunch 1 brat, 1 hot dog, and 1 oz of Garlic potato chips 830 total calories Dinner 4.5 oz  barbecued  hamburger (ground...