The weigh-in :(
Here we go, starting things off on a bad note. The first weigh in of the month is a gain! Last week I was 444.6 this week 445.0. A .4 gain. So I've enter he most difficult phase of the year on bad terms! I
Guess what, I finally got to see that psychiatrist of mine, she thinks I should lower my goals (no kidding), that I have a all or nothing mentality (I wouldn't necessarily agree), and that this "transformation year" thing was a rather toxic aspiration. Wanting to go from 4XX to 1XX in a year would be impossible (even though the people on Biggest Loser Extreme Weight Loss do it, but I digress) her argument (similar if not identical with what some of what you and the therapist have said) is to cut my goals into installments so instead of having to be instantly 180 I cut it down into waves. Like 400 would the next big, then 375, 350, 325,b250 etc. I rejected this almost immediately my argument being that I felt like when people (in general) cut their goals they settle in there adjusted weight and I can't risk that.
On the medical aspect most things are the same except, I am restarting my my ADHD medication from its lower dosage and will then increase, after a week. My mood stabilizer was also bumped up quite a bit too, fine! I have been all over the place today there was some new male medical assistant had to be about 170-180 pounds he had future-self/ideal me figure, it gave me a great deal of anxiety.
Today isn't the greatest day, I just don't even know what to do with myself anymore, Im tired of weigh-ins I'm tired therapists and psychiatrists and 180 pound medical assistants, I'm tired of it all!
Don't even get me started with this whole 28th birthday coming up in janurary thing, again.
Guess what, I finally got to see that psychiatrist of mine, she thinks I should lower my goals (no kidding), that I have a all or nothing mentality (I wouldn't necessarily agree), and that this "transformation year" thing was a rather toxic aspiration. Wanting to go from 4XX to 1XX in a year would be impossible (even though the people on Biggest Loser Extreme Weight Loss do it, but I digress) her argument (similar if not identical with what some of what you and the therapist have said) is to cut my goals into installments so instead of having to be instantly 180 I cut it down into waves. Like 400 would the next big, then 375, 350, 325,b250 etc. I rejected this almost immediately my argument being that I felt like when people (in general) cut their goals they settle in there adjusted weight and I can't risk that.
On the medical aspect most things are the same except, I am restarting my my ADHD medication from its lower dosage and will then increase, after a week. My mood stabilizer was also bumped up quite a bit too, fine! I have been all over the place today there was some new male medical assistant had to be about 170-180 pounds he had future-self/ideal me figure, it gave me a great deal of anxiety.
Today isn't the greatest day, I just don't even know what to do with myself anymore, Im tired of weigh-ins I'm tired therapists and psychiatrists and 180 pound medical assistants, I'm tired of it all!
Don't even get me started with this whole 28th birthday coming up in janurary thing, again.
