The End Of The Hiatus

I suppose it may have looked like the blog was in limbo judging by my last post, afterall, I did say I was considering closing it down, and for awhile I actually was. Then I decided not to pull a Josh, and have my blogged ripped from the interwebs, certainly not without a goodbye. I did have a lot anxiety about entering the new year, and gaining that holiday weight didn't help matters. My therapist convinced me not to weigh in again until January 18th, because I dealt so poorly with  (and perhaps irrationally) Xmas weight and I still had New Years, and a Birthday to come. Reluctantly I agreed.

Initially I wasn't planning on taking the month of January off from blogging, but my new years started off awful. Literally new years day an even transpired involving a nephew of mine and it challenged everything in me, it is still challenging everything in me now. I knew I needed to stay away from the blog for two reasons one being because I wanted to vent about the situation, but I simply couldn't, and two because I simply had thrown everything out the window for awhile after the event. For awhile I couldnt eat a thing, nothing, then, I was back on fast food, and food I wouldnt regularly eat. I wasnt binging but this wasnt at all like me, but I had all but given up on everything by my birthday.

My birthday came and went I had great deal of anxiety as you might expect, but it wasnt as bad as it could have been. I spent it with my friends Nick and Melissa and that probably helped keep my mind from drifting. I also had therapy on the same day and my therapist gave me some pencils (there is an inside story there idk if I've mentioned my  ocd pencil thing) which I thought was nice. Mom got me a really nice card and some cash which I still havent spent.

After my birthday (jan 13th)things started turning around. Well I stopped being as reckless I guess. Specially since I knew that  the18th weigh-in was coming up. On the 18th I weighted 424.6, so I was down from the 430 from December.

Its February, and today Im 417.2, last week I was 423.8. Down 6.6 from the prior week. There have been interesting developments, seemingly overnight a Planet Fitness opened up here in town. My friend has a black card membership which allows him to bring up to 5 friends. He pretty much told me when I want to go, we can go. This has been an options since my birthday, of course I have anxiety about being at a public gym, but I know if I utilize this correctly my journeys process will really progress. Ill really get results, perhaps the kind that "I" can see. So its at matter of finally be brave enough an setting up a date, and going.

In other news this month my nutritionist gave me a 20 gift certificate to Wal-Mart for going down a size on the BMI chart index... thing

Comments

  1. Very glad to hear from you again, I always worry when you disappear for a while. Happy birthday!

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  2. Happy Birthday LN

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  3. Well done, not long til you will be in the 300's. Take your friend up on that gym offer..you will feel good for doing a little exercise. Look forward to reading more of your progress.

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  4. Good to read a post from you. You will soon be in the 300's and that's got to be exciting. Happy belated birthday. Wishing you a good positive year.
    Jeanette

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  5. Welcome back, and happy birthday! So happy to see that even though there are times of struggle, you are continuing to work to figure things out.

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