Hiatus 2,0

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Had the surgery postponed again, if you remember  a few posts ago I mention it was set for late September which I rescheduled for mid November and now I've had to postponed again, long before the date just because I don't think I can succeed with it at the moment. Back into weight gain abyss I go indefinitely.

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The Blues, Wal-Mart And Clothes Shopping

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Yesterday for breakfast I decided to eat my 60 calorie pack of carrots, it was my last pack and I just wanted to get them out of the way, and it was terrible, took me forever to eat most of them, and a few went to waste. It didn't do to well for my appetite, so I had an early lunch. For lunch I had a sandwich and some chips. For dinner, I had breakfast. two boiled eggs, two small sausages and a piece of toast. Between lunch and dinner I had a snack, a serving size of low fat cheddar popcorn that's only 35 calories a serving. Report Card Diet: Good. Exercise: Great. I had a bad nights sleep and my body did not have the energy I needed, once I got started with my workout I told myself, before the first mile was up, I could only do the one, and one is better than nothing, but then the first mile went by quicker than expected and I remember I told you guys Id do them no matter what , that kind of bit me in the butt! But I did it, all 3 miles of my multi-muscle walking! Wat...
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Welp, That's All Folks

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It was quite the long haul, but the week of Dogsitting has officially concluded. They got me a smokey mountain bucket hat as a souvenir, but the greatest gift of all was relinquishing me of all things concerning the dog. They filled me in on all things their vacation, it sounded wonderful. Then they got to hear about the misadventures of Brandon and Belle, it was nice catching up, we soon decided to get lunch. After a week of chicken, and the past four days of eating less than a thousand calories I wanted actual red meat and I didn't mind if it was fast food. We decided on Sonic, I got a double bacon cheeseburger and a large fries, and I gave them my drink. I also ate one of Melissa's mozzarella sticks. It typically takes me awhile to get through my food nowadays I think I naturally eat slower, but also take into account I could only eat on one side of my mouth. It still seemed to take particularly long getting through that burger, but then again, I'm not used to burg...
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Seems Ive Survived The Week

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Yesterday at work I only had to do computer training, I wasn't on my feet much at all, and yet they still hurt, just not severely. I was happy to get off, and yet emotionally miserable the ride home. When I arrived home and got inside, I headed to my room, and just did a genuine smile, I was glad to see my safe zone. Yesterday was a pretty emotional day (as many of you seen) , I never did end up calling that hotline, and likely wont, I just cant picture it doing me any good, what can they really do? Listen? I don't know. I'm not feeling as dark today, but I still wouldn't say my mental state has improved. However I'm glad to say I'm off until Tuesday, this may seem great, but I kind of feel like its bad. Having this time off then jumping back in, I'm sure by sometime Sunday night, things will start weighing heavy on me again. You know I didn't think Id ever be back at this point, honestly. Last summer I was a similar dark place, and I had no outlet ...
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