V For Venting

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I see how I’ve failed. My week has started off horribly. But it’s because of all or nothing thinking. In the end it leads to sabotage. Oh I only lost half an lb!? Screw it, you can’t do this anymore, you’ll never achieve what you achieved from before. And so I start eating recklessly. 

I’ve been saying for awhile now how my past success haunts me, but it’s been haunting me differently lately. I used to focus on the weight lost, the clothes I could wear. However lately I’m haunted by the recognition I used to get. The high praise, people telling me I was making them proud, inspiring them, motivating them. That’s all gone now, back then I concluded that these compliments weren’t genuine, but a small part of me liked it. I’ve never made anyone proud like that, I had never really been recognized for anything. I miss it. Weight loss was the one thing going for me, and I blew it. 

I’m insignificant again, so sorry for letting everyone down.

Location: At home

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