Less than an hour before I begin my liquid diet. I’m not particularly confident at the moment but it’s 2020, it’s better to not be too sure of things.
Decline
Another month nears its end and another weight in with poor results was had. Last week I weighted 434.8 pounds, this week, 434.8. I maintained. It's been a rather bumpy month in terms of the mental health spectrum, and my overall journey. It's like my journey is a car and I'm suppose to be driving it, but this month i put on a blind fold, hopped over to the passenger seat and let my depression take the wheel. I never knew if I'm going foward backward, or if I was moving at all. I haven't been doing my homework for therapy in spite of stating I would put more effort into it awhile ago. I told my therapist I think subconsciously I maybe don't want to do the home work cause I want to stay at the edge, but cause I want to build up to jump off the cliff. Earlier this month I wrote a goodbye letter to my nephews, sensing my impending doom after entering the dark haze once again. I was telling them, among other things, how I was sorry that I wasn't a bett...