Gym Wazoo

So I mentioned Monday that there was a chance that I might go to the gym, but that I was severely anxious about it. I'm proud to say that after I battling with myself all morning  on whether I'd go or not finally I decided once I realized that the anxiety I was feeling would likely not go away if I did not go, as I would take on new levels of anxiety and regret for not going.

Monday we set off to planet fitness, my anxiety eased abit until I seen the parking lot was quite packed. We found a spot and made our way in. They took our pictures and then we made our way to the main area, straight to the treadmills. I wasn't sure how long I was going to do, but my friend convinced me todo 30mins, which I set to cardio. This is different from my home videos because obviously I can adjust my pace at any time if I want to slow down, or even stop for a moment I can, but now I'm on a treadmill for 30 consecutive minutes, this is new. I did notice however.... There was a weight limit. The treadmill asks you certain information as you get started, your weight, and age being the main two. The weight limit is 400lbs (not to use it, but for whatever reason it needs it), I weight 410.4 it didn't hit me until after I left the gym but it isn't a good feeling.

I tried not to notice people, or notice people noticing me, but of course I did. I did take comfort in that there seem to be a lot of average people there, aside from the workers whom all for some reason looked like textbook personal trainers, no one looked like  some insane body builder. Every now and then I'd see someone with the ideal physique and I'd just feel sick and want the treadmill to swallow me up. I'd literally feel like "what am I doing here? I must look ridiculous." Finally the 30 minutes were up and were out of there. We considered doing something else first but decided we better not tackle to much head-on at first. I did experience a severe headache promptly following the  gym that lasted about an hour.

We have gone to the gym 3 days this week and done 30 minutes on the treadmill everyday, everyday I have intense anxiety about going, I think about backing out, but have chosen to go. I also experience the same post gym headaches, although yesterday's was not as bad as the previous two days.

It's also nice having a friend to go with makes the process at lot easier, it deflects my mind a bit. Today we may add on more time. Next week will be going fewer days but the plan is to add more variety than just treadmill.


  1. 30 minutes on the treadmill is awesome! Great work.


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