Relapse

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There is no other way to put it than I've relapsed. Crash and burning.  The deep truths are that I am just total lost cause. I suppose it's good then that the few people who believed in me are blowing in the wind.

This story doesn't end with me being some  kind of weight loss success story. It ends with me succumbing to my mental health, someone used this to describe a loss of theirs last year. Or me dying from gaining my weight back and letting my health deteriorate. I'm 31. I should have tried this all in my early 20s. Trying to reinvent myself and start living for the first time at 30  is such a joke.

But I have food for now, and thank goodness for that, because I've learned not only is my existence dull without food, it simply doesn't matter.

I must mean something to food, food understands, if nothing else it doesn't forget about me. Doesn't leave me lonely.

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