You're Watching My Downfall

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Its a scary time, I started the new year off good eating within my calories, avoiding snack cakes, logging my food, wearing my fit bit, and no binges. Until Wednesday, my food addiction is back in full swing and literally every single day I thought of swiss rolls or some other snack cake. It was unrelenting, for the first two days I was able to resist. Wednesday the ball dropped and busted into a million particles. A dozen sour cream glazed donuts, an entire box of little Debbie nutty bars, and a large bag of jalapeno Fritos. 

I felt awful of course, and I told myself that was it. But by the end of the night I knew I wasn't. Today, Thursday, I've been on a bender, 4 peanut butter sandwiches, 6 toaster pastries(pop tarts), 2 candy bars, a cream filled donut, 2 bowls of cereal and a bag of chips.


I'm so weak. I can't seem to avoid this. I don't know how to break this cycle. And I see all the work I've done over the years being for nothing. I felt the new weight, I see it, and still I give in. This how the year is starting, I wanted to turn it around, but the reality seems that this is the year I gain it all back.

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