Uncomfortable Silence Can Be So Loud

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Today I'm feeling bitter and emotional. Not at myself but at other people and their actions. A friend if mine was very short with me for a week and it didn't improve over the last. I'm just completely removing myself from that situation. Really though it's my two friends who are dating but I basically only talk with one of them unless I go over there. The relationship is toxic and she knows it and I believe resents me for being honest about it, and despite being torn down and emotionally broken time and time again, won't leave. Meanwhile, he is steady gaining weight. He is nearing 500lbs. I hear he goes to workout sporadically. I find this odd because he has never asked me to join. Hes never been consistent, but it bothers me considering I was not shy about how far I'd fallen.

Another problem is he idolizes these guys from his work. But they are piss poor morally human beings. Types of individuals I'd never associate with. Because I have principles. But it's like monkey see monkey do. Their influence over him is profound, and embarrassing. Yet he values their friendship far above mine.

So I'm just going to move on from them. Maybe for a few months, maybe forever. They won't notice initially, as they're making no effort to have anything To do with me right now. But eventually they will, they'll probably want something. Like for me to watch the dogs while they go out of town for a week (which I always do free of charge), but nope. I'll be focusing on me

 In lighter news, it was a return to form yesterday. I went to the gym and did much better. Did 20 minutes on the elliptical, consecutive! Then  hit my usual machines, and finished off with the massage chairs and got out of dodge. All in all a good day. Once again I seen that old man, and again he gave me a look. He's short and he wears one of those fitness or lifting belt things. The one he has literally looks like something from the WWE. Like, OK buddy. Calm down.


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