Uncomfortable Silence Can Be So Loud

-
Today I'm feeling bitter and emotional. Not at myself but at other people and their actions. A friend if mine was very short with me for a week and it didn't improve over the last. I'm just completely removing myself from that situation. Really though it's my two friends who are dating but I basically only talk with one of them unless I go over there. The relationship is toxic and she knows it and I believe resents me for being honest about it, and despite being torn down and emotionally broken time and time again, won't leave. Meanwhile, he is steady gaining weight. He is nearing 500lbs. I hear he goes to workout sporadically. I find this odd because he has never asked me to join. Hes never been consistent, but it bothers me considering I was not shy about how far I'd fallen.

Another problem is he idolizes these guys from his work. But they are piss poor morally human beings. Types of individuals I'd never associate with. Because I have principles. But it's like monkey see monkey do. Their influence over him is profound, and embarrassing. Yet he values their friendship far above mine.

So I'm just going to move on from them. Maybe for a few months, maybe forever. They won't notice initially, as they're making no effort to have anything To do with me right now. But eventually they will, they'll probably want something. Like for me to watch the dogs while they go out of town for a week (which I always do free of charge), but nope. I'll be focusing on me

 In lighter news, it was a return to form yesterday. I went to the gym and did much better. Did 20 minutes on the elliptical, consecutive! Then  hit my usual machines, and finished off with the massage chairs and got out of dodge. All in all a good day. Once again I seen that old man, and again he gave me a look. He's short and he wears one of those fitness or lifting belt things. The one he has literally looks like something from the WWE. Like, OK buddy. Calm down.


Popular posts from this blog

Smooth Sailing

-
The week seems to have just glided by, it's almost over. I've been sleeping well, this morning however I woke-up feeling kind of out of it.  A recent comment mentioned going down in shirt sizes, that's interesting because my therapist has been saying I should do this for weeks, new clothes, it's a touchy subject. I'm not quite sure there is enough of a difference to warrant me getting new lower sizes. As I told my therapist (whom thought I was being ridiculous) I've laid in these shirts in so many different ways and contorted them that it's really no telling if weight loss  has anything to with this appearance. So I really don't want to go down lower in sizes and be disappointed, and then wouldn't going down in size make me look bigger anyways? I know the logic in that last bit is odd , but it just came to me, I can't rationalize it, but it seems valid as if this sentence. Mentally I'm mostly stable, however that picture of me by the campe...
Read more

I Watched Some Picture Films

-
I always like when people refer to movies as "picture films." I actually watched some movies over the weekend several days in a row. I even watched one this morning called The Loft , yesterday I watched The Account with Ben Affleck (so good). Its been really nice getting caught up in movie worlds for a little bit of time again, especially the horror ones, I really love a good spooky film. I watched one called From The Dark that was really good and I actually have a few to watch tonight so that should be scary fun. I got some Canadian bacon because I was told this was better for me than regular bacon because its considered lean or whatever, I also got some peanut butter 2 that I'm planning on making on an Instagram story video thing maybe today, its basically this powdery peanut butter you add water to that turns into normal peanut butter that has less fat and calories than regular peanut butter, so if you're following me on Instagram be looking out for that. How ...
Read more

Boot Camp Week Day Five

-
Image
The final day of boot camp week is upon us. Today the exercise goal is to complete the four mile challenge, which would give me a new miles per week peak. The food goal is simple once again, and the consistent goal of the week. Stay below 1,800 calories. I got news yesterday that my oldest nephew might be coming down for the weekend. That's pretty awesome news. His spring break starts today, but he'll only be here the weekend (versus the entire break previously), but   it wasn't set in stone so I'm not expecting anything.  He has been getting all A's in school this semester so far so I'm really proud of him. Today I'm getting blood work done, and will likely schedule  that follow up appointment.
Read more

Archive

Show more