DEEP BREATH

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The week started out well and then ended rather bumpy. A  few months back my psychiatrist ordered an ECG because I started Vyvanse a switch from strattera for my ADHD & B.E.D. I dragged my feet about getting it until a few weeks ago. The results, a diagnosis; Sinus tachycardia , non-specfic T wave abnormality, abnormal ECG. We couldn't go any further up on Vyvanse because of this. I've been ordered to see a cardiologist. This could split into any number of ways. My friend recently gave me her series 2 apple watch, I gave my fitbit to my mom. The apple watch is constantly alerting me of having a high or elevated plus/heart rate, I'm probably going to need to get an a newer one because they have a built in ECG monitor. But of course I cant afford it. 

Im stuck in a state of balance, but its getting wobbly, I think I can just turn this around by losing weight, then I think of how far I've fallen. Im back on high blood pressure meds and my heart might be in trouble. These issues were non-existent in 2017. I sink, how could I let this happen? Part of me just wants to eat my problems away and pretend none of this is happening. The other part of me feels very discouraged.


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