My Food Is My Drug, I'll Be Usin' For The Rest Of My Life

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I didn't recover from Sundays blow. I started to eat off track and more often, things I shouldn't have. Slowly old habits started reforming. I had some cookies, a whole package, been taking meds later and later, mind slipping to even bleaker thoughts. I was up 24hrs. I see the signs of total relapse, the skipping medication, and not drinking my water are major indicators. I'm going to attempt to stop this.  But as of this writing I don't feel good about my prospects. 500lbs could be in my future.

I got a new water bottle that same infamous Sunday, held 67 ounces. Loved it. ...Left it at an appointment Wednesday. I really beat myself up over this for some reason. It just made me a lot more enthusiastic about getting my water in and actually showed the water ounces on the side. I gained 5 lbs over last weekend, I knew it was water weight but it still sent me into a mental spiral. I knew I should not have looked at the scale.

I've been feeling weak, tired, joints hurt, lethargic, fatigue. Honestly this has been going on for weeks but I'm finally realizing this isn't the after effects of the flu, or me flopping as usual. It's something medical. It's made my workouts a nightmare, standing in general just a fight, like what the hell is going on? Am I greatly ill? Possibly. I've also been having some intestinal problems.

Everything gives me indigestion, cramps. Even just water. I thought this might be my acid reflux but I wait an hour before eating anything after I drink and vice versa. I just started this a few weeks ago and it was not an easy adaption. I'm used to drinking while I eat. Still these changes made almost no difference, the indigestion and cramps still occur.

Got in to see my doctor and we're gonna get some blood work done next week. Changed my antacid from Pepcid to Zantac, I'll also take two multivitamins now. Stopped taking a long term antibiotic by my dermatologist on my own. Did some research and found out it has interactions with multivitamins and you are suppose to stay upright for an hour after taking. I don't recall being told any of this. My dermatologist honestly isn't great.

This sums up the previous week. I've decided I'll go back to that partial hospitalization program. I'll explain that later.



*also, blogger is still glitched. I can't reply to comments in any capacity from my phone, they just don't show. I didn't realize that because it acts like it posts them but then nothing is actually there. I just had faith in the system 🙄. Anywho I can only reply on my laptop. Now I know what's up. Sadly  replies I've attempted recently were from mobile and are only there in spirit, I guess. *

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