Ive come to realize that depression has many faces, each one a different version. Two faces years apart could be "the worst depression you've ever had" but present totally differently. It can be high functioning and low functioning. One version you might not be able to get out of bed, you might not shower and you do not a anything at all. While another version you're doing your normal tasks perfectly fine, going to appointments, talking with friends and family, but your depression is as bad as its ever been. It can be confusing, often asking yourself, am I that depressed? Is it that bad? Only for you to go into a sudden 40 minute spell of the most self destructive thoughts, and an impulsive urge to act on them, that you realize yeah its bad.
Somehow you overcome it time and time again. Wheres our "x" week token/chip for remaining symptom free? Where are the tokens for utilizing our CBT skills? Wheres the reminder of "yeah, you're doing really good". I suppose the rewards are in themselves. Not spiraling into an episode is the token, recognizing you didn't have the episode is the token. Still it would be kind of cool if there were a little group you could go to where everyone suffers from depression, but discuss how they beat depression that week.
Hi, Im Brandon, who lives at home, Im 34 and I have depression.
