Trying To Break Off A Piece Mind That I Cant Get Right

Therapy Wednesday went pretty well, I realize its now Friday and I'm just now mentioning therapy. I mostly just vented about things, which I really needed to do to be honest. I haven't been doing my homework assignments for therapy and I keep thinking about how I keep coming back to this image thing, and how I just binge ate the other day subconscious self-sabotaging myself. Ive been thinking about how hard it is to change this part of my thinking, this area of my mind. This is destroying my chance of happiness in the here and now, and I'm going to wind up having major depressive events at this rate like last year.

I was thinking, about when I was younger, in fact, no, when I was at my peak weight, so not that long ago. Back when I used to think I could never seriously lose weight, never thought I could have a lifestyle change, could never radically overhaul my life and cut back in food. When I thought I would be 600+ Lbs forever, that there was no way I was ever going to be one of those people that just changes. I thought I knew myself, an when I looked into the future I never seen the current version of myself I am now.

I decided because of depression I had try to lose the weight, I had to. I changed and did want I previously thought was impossible. Now I have to do it again, I have really start actively thinking more positively. I have to accept my body right now and Ill appreciate it even more as I progress. I took a picture in the outfit I wore to therapy Wednesday and I actually sorta kinda liked it, but I felt like if I looked at it too long I might end up feeling different about it. However, I think I actually looked pretty good.


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