Pensive Face Emoji

It's been an interesting day, yesterday was my moms birthday I forgot to mention that. I was eventually overcome with a sweeping depressive haze that had me in sleeping spells I had to make it a point NOT to sleep the day away. My mom had a seemingly nice day, I was battling the dark haze however, and I guess my mom could tell cause she had to make a trip to Walmart and asked me to ride with her "just to get out of the house", I actually agreed but told her right away I wouldn't go in.

Today I had my follow-up appointment regarding the work I had a week ago, everything was good even the vitamin D, but there was one issue (so technically everything wasn't good), and I could tell as she was going through the list of everything that was good and perfect that she was leading to something, but for some reason I had not jumped to conclusions like usual. So it's my kidneys. Last time we tested they had slightly improved from before and we figured 'well this is good but it isn't an all-clear' this time however it has actually slightly declined and now I need to see a specialist. I've started asking myself is this some sort of sign. This somehow seems like the end of the road, Doctor tried to down play it a bit by saying the specialist could decide its something we will just keep an eye on. Everything about the timing of this feels wrong. Well I have certainly turned a dark corner haven't I? Before it gets darker, let's move on.

I mentioned that on Instagram there was a guy that weighed over 600lbs (originally), and that it was nice to have someone moderately relatable to compare to.... Well he recently deleted his Instagram profile due to a wave of bullying.  What's nice to see is the weight loss community (on Instagram) come together and speak out against the bullying with the hashtag #iStandWithJoey and encouraging him to come back. It's a shame that a guy is brave enough to share his journey but while trying to better himself and inspire others he is bullied into withdrawal.


  1. Your blog looks really different!

    I hope everything will be okay with your kidneys. Did the doctor tell you what the results could mean or is that something the specialist will do? Maybe it really is just something that will need to be watched and won't turn into anything negative. Keep us updated!

    Happy belated birthday to your Mom! Hope she had a nice day. Did you end up going to Walmart with her? I love Walmart but no longer live close to one so I miss wandering around just looking at things.

  2. The blog is a work in progress. As for the Kidney thing... who knows, I've been dragging my foot about scheduling an appointment to get the ball rolling.

    I'm not fond of Walmart, but did ride along, but I didn't go in (too much anxiety).


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