Nothing Dramatic To See Here

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Today I have been taking it easy. Been doing some reading, getting further in my book, catching up on the show House Of Cards, watched my youngest nephew  for a few hours. Just been trying to fill the empty space up a little better. I'd like to read more of my book before the night is over as well as start reading the walking dead comics I got into a long time ago, those too are taking up too much space on my iPad.

The blog looks different, I'm not quite sure how long this will last, I'm still trying to figure out what look I'm going for, and if I feel like making a banner or not etc... The last one was actually way out of the element for me, I liked the style of it but it didn't really fit this blog to me.

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Move Along Move Along, Just To Make It Through

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The title, lyrics from one of my favorite bands and one of my favor songs, The All-American Reject's Move Along . It randomly popped up in my head at just the right time. I'm not going to give up, I pretty much see how sort of ridiculous my feelings have been the last 48 hours. Lifestyle changes are not easy, it took me 27 years, 27 years of gradually weight gain to put me here, and its not going to be lost over night, not even in a year, but a lot can be done in a year, more in two, and so on, and so on. I have to keep sight of what I want, and that is to be thinner, happier and healthier. Going back to work will be a new obstacle Ill have to adjust to, Ill have to endure the looks, the stares, the embarrassment, Ill have to live through my worst fears all over again, but I know these are the last of them, these are the final years of these bad experiences. Because I'm going to continuing losing weight, and the people and actions that intend to bring me down, will, but won
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Seems Ive Survived The Week

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Yesterday at work I only had to do computer training, I wasn't on my feet much at all, and yet they still hurt, just not severely. I was happy to get off, and yet emotionally miserable the ride home. When I arrived home and got inside, I headed to my room, and just did a genuine smile, I was glad to see my safe zone. Yesterday was a pretty emotional day (as many of you seen) , I never did end up calling that hotline, and likely wont, I just cant picture it doing me any good, what can they really do? Listen? I don't know. I'm not feeling as dark today, but I still wouldn't say my mental state has improved. However I'm glad to say I'm off until Tuesday, this may seem great, but I kind of feel like its bad. Having this time off then jumping back in, I'm sure by sometime Sunday night, things will start weighing heavy on me again. You know I didn't think Id ever be back at this point, honestly. Last summer I was a similar dark place, and I had no outlet
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Weigh-in: Seeking Redemption Cove

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