Day Dreaming

I haven't daydreamed about the finish line in quite some time. I suppose it has everything to do with my image issues, and also the fact that I'm simply not sure if I'll get there. I've been wondering when I'll  feel like I'm almost there, I'm thinking it's probably going to be when I'm in the 200s. the 200s really will be the last full one hundred I have to work off, and plus the goal weight is a little tiny island view away in the process. I just need to get there, unfortunately I have 64lbs to lose of the 300s still.

I see those amazing before and after photos where one is clearly of them at their heaviest and one is of them now unmistakably thin and I get very anxious and just have to move on, my mind just won't let me envision that for myself yet. It's been very interesting going on this odyssey for so long having for the most part felt like the changes that have happened were minimum, but kept going anyway. It's a little perplexing. Even now, my goal is to be thin, that is what I want, but I don't think I will actually make it that far, but I still plan on continuing going further. I have no idea what's driving me. 

I should really be a much happier place in life right now than I actually am (I'm not miserable or anything, but I should be better). So how do I find my happiness, or have I been right all along, must it truly wait until I hit my goal weight of 180?

Here is a very powerful comment, that I didn't get around to responding to, this has quite the impact. I keep thinking a lot about a few comments lately, especially this one.


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