Somewhere Between Sorrow And Bliss

Today was a rather loaded day. Knowing that it would be my last visit with my nutritionist had me doing some reflecting this morning and last night. When I had first begun seeing her I had just taken on some dangerous eating habits that easily put me in eating disorder territory, after meeting with her I began to re-frame things more, and broke those crazy low-hundred calorie intakes I was doing. All while learning more about nutrition and healthy eating habits.
Me and Mary Dietitian/Nutritionist 

She's definitely been one of my greatest and most enthusiastic supporters, which in the beginning was a bit of a pain, but I've always felt like she's gotten it. She's told me of issues some other overweight patients have as a result of their weight, but also the hard time they have trying to lose weight, and it really puts things into perspective. In the 11 months I've seen her I lost weight consecutively throughout, it's dropped every time I've seen her. She's always so proud of the loss no matter the number (which is a whole different ball game for me). She's certainly educated me on a lot of things, I am glad that I was so fortunate to have gotten myself another stellar doctor when I got her last year. It really makes me think back to when I was younger and I had so many poor experiences with doctors that I just hated going, so when I started growing up I just avoided going to the doctor, as many obese people do. All of my doctors are amazing right now, though.

Today directly following the finale of my nutritionist appointments, I went to see my urologist, who is also very nice, thorough. Turns out, as of right now I don't have CKD, Chronic Kidney Disease . All my billion labs came back pretty good, in normal range of whatever normal range is of things of that nature, except, something something was either high or low. I was getting a migraine, but the takeaway was it was being spiked because of that mood stabilizer my psychiatrist has me on for irritability. So he wrote her out this thing that I will have my therapist fax to her tomorrow about seeing if there is an alternative I can take, otherwise he wants me off of it. Which kind of is unfortunate because we were wanting to increase that, so bummer, but who knows. The other thing is the ultrasound came back mostly good, but because of my size there were some variables. For the most part everything looks good, there where some spots, he said there is a very unlikely chance of it being kidney stone(s) because of reasons (something machine, and sound, and image related). This was pretty relieving but it wasn't  the all clear, my kidney levels are still elevated, but have went down, he thinks it might actually be due to my size. We will check back in January and go from ther.

Going back a bit, today before meeting with my nutritionist for the last time, I had to go through this process of getting logged into the system. The lady logging me in was a little older, while getting me logged in for my appointment she asked me if the nutrition appointments helped and if I liked them, I told her yeah, I forget what got us on the topic of weight loss but I when we got there I ended up mentioning how I've lost over 200lbs, she was very interested, I was telling her how I didn't really get into liking vegetables until the last year or so, and before that I basically couldn't eat them, and she's the same way now, but I basically forced changed my habits. I told her how a great deal of my weight loss is nutrition and fitness didn't come in until later. We were having a great chat, she even hugged me before I went off to my appointment and I just felt great.

My nephew Kieryn spent the rest of the day here, that was a nice was top off to the day. I found myself jumping in and out of reclusive urges, a lot unfolded today, I have been a mixture of happy and sad and anxious and everything and the next thing I knew I just wanted to isolate myself at times, but I resisted, and spent the day hanging with my nephew. We listened to some Fresh Beat Band, watched some cartoon id never heard of before, took a nap so I'm likely to be up all night, and started playing a cute game on the iPad called Dr Pandas Ice Cream Truck (you make ice cream!), and before you knew it he was out the door.


  1. You and your nephew are the cutest. And the nutritionist. Excellent post.


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