I’m just trying to keep it together during these incredibly polarizing times. Too much affects me! Sometimes I feel like my emotions are like a feather in the wind. Never stays on a consistent path and just when you I’m on a steady flow the breeze takes me into another direction. It is a nightmare and with so much going on right now I feel like I’ve only got so much mental stamina left.
Earlier I nearly had a breakdown at the thought of beginning this journey. I felt like what’s the point, why try to lose weight in times like this, it’s going to be hard, why make life any harder than it has to be right now. I was on the brink of an anxiety attack, and then the breeze shifted and I was calming down suddenly. I know I’m in this alone regardless of what anyone says. It’s crazy it’s so crazy to think that sticking to a plan consistently is all it takes for radical change. That’s how I got started I just stayed going. So why has it been so hard to bounce back. It’s like I’ve jumped on the wrong stream of consistency, one taking me into the wrong direction.
I was 320lbs. Blink and you missed it, and honestly sometimes I question if it ever happened. Because I remember so little of it and what I do remember are mostly me hating being so big, then. Well now I’m bigger and I wish I could’ve told myself it could be worse, it was worse, why didn’t I remember that!? Now I’m starting over. I’m thirty-freaking-two and I’m back to trying to lose hundreds of lbs again. It sounds foolish, the odds are stacked against me, but for some idiotic reason I want to try again.
A glutton for punishment as they say. See you tomorrow
Earlier I nearly had a breakdown at the thought of beginning this journey. I felt like what’s the point, why try to lose weight in times like this, it’s going to be hard, why make life any harder than it has to be right now. I was on the brink of an anxiety attack, and then the breeze shifted and I was calming down suddenly. I know I’m in this alone regardless of what anyone says. It’s crazy it’s so crazy to think that sticking to a plan consistently is all it takes for radical change. That’s how I got started I just stayed going. So why has it been so hard to bounce back. It’s like I’ve jumped on the wrong stream of consistency, one taking me into the wrong direction.
I was 320lbs. Blink and you missed it, and honestly sometimes I question if it ever happened. Because I remember so little of it and what I do remember are mostly me hating being so big, then. Well now I’m bigger and I wish I could’ve told myself it could be worse, it was worse, why didn’t I remember that!? Now I’m starting over. I’m thirty-freaking-two and I’m back to trying to lose hundreds of lbs again. It sounds foolish, the odds are stacked against me, but for some idiotic reason I want to try again.
A glutton for punishment as they say. See you tomorrow
