One Step At A Time

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FaceToFaceFriday

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I didn't start my journey until late 2014, but I found this old picture recently that gave me a little perspective #facetofacefriday #weightlossjourney #losingweight #healthychoices #BrandonWhoLivesAtHome #obesity A photo posted by Brandon Hall (@brandonwholivesathome) on Jul 22, 2016 at 2:08pm PDT I posted the above to Instagram earlier, while I do see a difference in the pictures it took me very long time of examination to come to the conclusion, and in the end I decided it was a subtle difference, but a difference nonetheless which is something I would have been mentally blocked from acknowledging not too long ago. To be honest the both photos give me anxiety. I think I found the dumbbell workout I'm going to start doing next week, I looked around quite abit via YouTube and the one I found seems to be the most tame, there are a few parts that are cause for concern though, the squats, and the thing he does around 3:50 where he gets on the floor, on his back...
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Loose Skin

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So there it is for all to see the loose, hanging skin on my arms that was once filled with nothing but fat. I didn't really pay too much attention to this growing phenomenon  until last year when a certain incident occurred that I deliberately decided not to write about because  I would not only discard the good things that happened that day, but turn this into an actual bigger issue. The incident occurred one of the first times I went to the gym solo and was coming back, it was one of the better days if I recall. I had my arm out the window (or on the window seal) enjoying the breeze and we were stopped at a red light. I noticed in my rear-view mirror that in one of the cars in the next lane was a guy talking to some woman, and he looked over at my arm and said "that guys got a really big arm." Then the light went green, it didn't really click to me at first, but when I was bigger I used to try to avoid hanging my arm on or out the window because I was emba...
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Fear And Self-Loathing

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So together with the readers of this blog, we begin to enter the next chapter Today I had therapy, it was much needed. Anytime there is time off from therapy I feel it, I had to take last week off because moms kidney stone removal. We touched down on a lot of things, the main focus was me and my disliking of myself and the roadblocks it's creating and how I've realized this in the past few weeks. I know this is truly the final thing holding me back, I knows it's keeping me from being more motivated, I know it's keeping me from being more optimistic, I know it's the reason I tend to beat myself up so badly when I make a mistake or when things don't go well, I know it's a large contributing factor why when I enter my severely dark depressed state I can even consider taking my life, it's the link between seemingly all my dysfunctions. My therapist gave an me one of two options for my homework, both of which are cheesy but for most people they could do ...
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