Where I Belong

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Today was one of the better days I've had in the past week. I did have some cookies, perhaps over indulged but I did pretty good overall. Today I entered a bit of a rut thinking about some things. 

Belonging, and where Im at. As a wee lad I used to watch the tv show Friends. I loved the sense of community amongst the friends, trusting one another, going to each other with their problems, hanging out, just  relating and vibing. Ive always wanted that, and hoped some day Id have that as an adult.


I do have some nice friends, but its not like the tv shows, its not like the movies. People dont want to hear about your depression, they just want it to go away and the moment you stop bringing it up they assume its gone, you're cured. I dont know how many times Ive been talking about something only to discover the person I was talking to wasnt actully listening, Ive actually outright stopped talking mid sentence when I noticed, and they never noticed I stopped, because they tuned out a long time ago.


How do you find your people, your place, your community? My weight has held me back in a lot of aspects of finding these things. Who knows, if I was thin I may already have this wanting fulfilled, but alas, thats not the case, and honestly I dont see it changing anytime soon, not with this weight, weighing me down. I can only hope to get control of my eating habits again, lose weight again and finally be free enough to seek out my place in the world.

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