A personal, weight loss & mental health Odyssesy. Raw, unfiltered and honest
Superbowl Sunday
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Its the day of the biggest sporting event of the year, the Superbowl, and I'm going to a buddies Superbowl party. Ive actually been having second thoughts about going, honestly if I hadn't already committed to going I wouldn't, but I think it would be rather rude not to show up at this point. It isn't the food, but I tend to just get a lot of anxiety when I know I'm going to be in a group of people, even if its people Ive known half my life. The fear of being judged is still present, and the fear of being introduced to new people is also scary because, again, Id worry I'm being judged, it could all be in my head, but the thoughts always there.
All the above being said, I'm going to try to have a good time, and enjoy myself and the commercials, and the company. It should be fun.I will be taking pictures, and maybe some videos so look forward to an update later on in the day, and if not Ill fill you guys in tomorrow on the festivities.
Please take a look at my latest video for YouTube.
In the midst of empowering a friend, last weekend I got some news that a good friend of mine was getting a heart procedure. I've known this person since I was in high school, and they helped me survive that silently torrid time. She goes about handling things with a certain level of nonchalance that makes it so you can't tell the severity of things, but I knew it was a big deal and it was scary to hear that she would be having it the coming Monday, however that same nonchalance reassured me and I didn't over stress about it. We have been in touch since she has had the procedure, it well, aside from some pain and issues sleeping. She got discharged from the hospital today, which honestly is a relief cause it just made me nervous her being in there even though she was post-procedure . A lot of things have transpired this week, and seem to keep unfolding and I have yet to workout, but honestly I'm not too worried about that. I've decided to start posting my dinner o...
Reflecting upon the last year. All attempts at weight loss ended in failure, I was put back on blood pressure medications, a brother of mine was arrested, a global pandemic began, lowdown, weight gain, mental instability, my psychiatrist of over 5 years suddenly dropped me, a lot to unpack. Weight-gain was the theme of the year, after every weight loss attempt came regain 1.5x what I had lost. There was no motivation, I was running mechanically most the time hoping that suddenly something would spark and the rest would be automated, come naturally like it did years ago, but that didn't happen. I started walking at the park again, but it was ultimately short lived, I couldn't maintain the determination needed to keep that going. The worst part is my mom was relying on me. I do feel bad, but luckily she remained on a weight loss streak all year. She certainly didn't need me, though when I stopped walking so did she. Wondering where my rock-bottom is was a whole chapter of it...
