A personal, weight loss & mental health Odyssesy. Raw, unfiltered and honest
Superbowl Sunday
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Its the day of the biggest sporting event of the year, the Superbowl, and I'm going to a buddies Superbowl party. Ive actually been having second thoughts about going, honestly if I hadn't already committed to going I wouldn't, but I think it would be rather rude not to show up at this point. It isn't the food, but I tend to just get a lot of anxiety when I know I'm going to be in a group of people, even if its people Ive known half my life. The fear of being judged is still present, and the fear of being introduced to new people is also scary because, again, Id worry I'm being judged, it could all be in my head, but the thoughts always there.
All the above being said, I'm going to try to have a good time, and enjoy myself and the commercials, and the company. It should be fun.I will be taking pictures, and maybe some videos so look forward to an update later on in the day, and if not Ill fill you guys in tomorrow on the festivities.
Please take a look at my latest video for YouTube.
When I got to work I initially thought I would be doing about 15 minutes of computer training, but then I remember how long they were and how many assessments I had left and realized it would likely take the better of my shift to complete. I was happy, but when I clocked in, I discovered the computer system was having network problems, none of the training could be done until it was corrected! This meant that I had to be on the floor! They had me shadow a nice lady named Tammy, who is also supposed to train me once my computer training is officially finished. Now for a little on the shoes. I didn't try either pair on until right before I left, and I simply decided to put on the pair I would wear. so I still have no idea how the other ones are. That said after putting on the shoes I noticed how comfortable they were, it was like my feet were on some kind of cloudy cushions, the brand is Dr Scholls , they also make shoe inserts. I was optimistic heading out. So after about an h...
Im back home today, my mother is already gone on her trip to the family barbecue out of town. Yesterday at my friends was particularly emotionally exhausting. My friend got into a trivial argument with his mother on the phone, but she said some truly astonishing things. Things that triggered not just my emotions, but my anxiety and depression. Not just that, but it just ruined the mellow day we were having up until then. Im feeling kind of lost lately. I feel like I'm waiting to stumble upon my purpose. Because I keep getting back to this state where I feel like I have no purpose. I've been really struggling lately. It's amazing how I can be so humongous physically, but so minuscule in the grand scheme of it all. In weight loss news I think I might start back up my lowball calorie intake next week, indefinitely. Although this time the range will be 800-1200. I simple don't care about the side effects. It seems like I won't be satisfied until I'm thin, and the ...
It's a new week, so much unfolded last week that Im just glad this is a new week. Although something in me is saying, no, this span of time is no different than the supposed week before it, it isn't in fact new, there are no weeks! Yeah, Im in a weird mood. I think a lot of things are catching up with me. Dog sitting wasn't a complete nightmare, but just a poop cleaning bonanza, which wasn't a blast. I survived it, Belle of The Ball remained as charming as ever, the new hellion dog revealed a few cute quirks of its own... Im still not a fan. There was nothing but junk food in the house over their, and I indulged a bit in stuff I should not have, there is usually temptation over there but it isn't typically all or nothing. Today I weighed-in, I only worked out two times last week, dumbbell workout and the gym one day, courtesy of my friend. The second planned day of going didn't pan out, and I just dropped the ball with exercising, The planned cize workout f...
