A personal, weight loss & mental health Odyssesy. Raw, unfiltered and honest
Superbowl Sunday
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Its the day of the biggest sporting event of the year, the Superbowl, and I'm going to a buddies Superbowl party. Ive actually been having second thoughts about going, honestly if I hadn't already committed to going I wouldn't, but I think it would be rather rude not to show up at this point. It isn't the food, but I tend to just get a lot of anxiety when I know I'm going to be in a group of people, even if its people Ive known half my life. The fear of being judged is still present, and the fear of being introduced to new people is also scary because, again, Id worry I'm being judged, it could all be in my head, but the thoughts always there.
All the above being said, I'm going to try to have a good time, and enjoy myself and the commercials, and the company. It should be fun.I will be taking pictures, and maybe some videos so look forward to an update later on in the day, and if not Ill fill you guys in tomorrow on the festivities.
Please take a look at my latest video for YouTube.
The week has begun and that means an increase to my exercise routine. Previously I mentioned I was doing Leslie Sansone 's in-door walking routines, I started initially with a single mile, then two, and now I'm doing 3. Honestly, this one was a lot more intense than I anticipated, had me sweating and huffing in no time. Its a 46 minute set and halfway through I was begging for it to be over, but I didn't quit and charged ahead and until I completed it. I cant recall a time in recent memory Ive been so proud of myself! That being said, its clear to me that 3 miles a day for the week is going to be tough, and its going to take a lot more endurance and determination than previous weeks. But I'm committed to this new healthy active lifestyle and wont slow down now. Here is the video I'm doing for the week
Lets get straight to it. Last week I was 448.2 pounds, this week I am 444.8. Down 3.4 pounds. I discovered yesterday that the psychiatrists office called Friday at some point and left a message. For whatever reason the phone didn't ring, anyways, it wasn't until yesterday that I discover that my FREAKING MONDAY APPOINTMENT WITH THE PSYCHIATRIST HAD BEEN DELAYED YET ANOTHER WEEK!!!!! I'm at my whits end on this situation, I think this is number 5 or 6. I like my psychiatrist even though I've only seen her a total of maybe 3 times since having to switch from the previous because of the infamous... incident . I didn't have these issues with my last one however! I don't want to have to consider looking for a new psychiatrist, I really don't. The very idea gives me anxiety, but if they somehow have some need to push back yet another week, I think I'll have no choice. I did make it to my primary doctor today, blood pressure was perfectly normal. I men...
Otherwise known as a cavity, its been building up to this point the past few days but now it's reached a fever-pitch and it's awful, I won't be able to do anything about it until next week though, and judging by the severity of the pain, which is reminiscent of the pain I had a few years ago when I had a cavity that had to be pulled (when I was warned of my high blood pressure but did nothing) this tooth probably has to go too. It's interesting I try to make it a point to brush my teeth more then something happens like a seeping spell of depression and it's the the first thing to go, especially since brushing before bed becomes so iffy since bedtime can very during bouts of the dark haze. Anyways it's going to be long rest of the week, the good news is Belle has been rather good, no accidents.
