Spirits have been up lately. Eating has improved. I'm feeling overall rather good, however I'm still not using Myfitnesspal, soon though. I can still tell I may not be eating enough, which seems odd I honestly felt like I ate a lot yesterday until I woke up this morning feeling like I could actually feel gravity against my skin physically. Yesterday I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, had a fruit cup of tangerines before lunch, then for lunch I snacked on some chips (I know, I know) it was an individual bag worth 4 servings and I ate all of them by dinner, and for dinner I had beef meatballs with potatoes and green beans. I only opted for 3 meatballs, I considered maybe more but I thought, no, this is enough, they were a moderate size, and the green beans and potatoes covered the plate. Still this was the biggest meal I had eaten all week, but I'm getting back on track.

I really need to get out of the house. I have been quite the recluse lately. Aside from appointments, taking out the trash and when I went to the store with mom a few weeks ago, I haven't really left the house, my room even. I haven't even hung out with my friends since the camping trip. Summer is over and cooler whether is becoming more and more regular. I should probably try walking a few times at the park before things become chilly.

I haven't had winter coat in years, I threw out the one I had years ago because it made me look so much huger, it was quite expensive, and of very nice quality, but it made me look like a giant ball with arms legs and a head, finally it conveniently got misplaced and I've just worn hoodies during winter. As a kid I loved winter overall but I always hated the coats, I remember there was this huge bubble-coat trend when I was a preteen, and my mother had gotten me a really nice one. I actually felt kind of in-crowd ish for once or at the very least I liked it because I genuinely like the aesthetic of bubble coats at the time, but then one day, I seen my reflection in a store window and I was appalled. In my mind I imagined I looked like everyone else I had ever seen wearing a bubble coat, but no, it just didn't work, I never wanted to wear it again. My relationship with coats has been bad ever since.

I'm rambling! Weigh-in and appointment with my primary doctor as well as my psychiatrist on Monday.


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