The First 24... Again

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  • Report Card: 
  • Stayed on track? YES
  •  Biggest issue of the day? Being offered a delicious looking breakfast
  • Feeling? positive
  • Cravings? none
  • Calorie intake? 0
  • Achievements? 120oz of water 
  • Used Therapy&CBT skills? not needed
  • Anxiety level 1-10? 3
  • Depression level 1-10? 4
  • Outlook? good
  • Willing to make changes in my thinking? Yes

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All Good Things, Come To And End

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Lets talk about tv shows, or really, a tv shows end. I cry when a show I like comes to a definitive end. There is something so sad about seeing something you enjoy stop. Tv shows can be so silly, especially the ones I get attached to, but being entertained is wonderful, more so if you can be amused and made to smile.  Getting connected to characters, to themes, little running gags etc is a special thing. But eventually it ends, Golden Girls, King Of Queens, 30 Rock, Regular Show, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt are just a few a few of my favorites that ended. I've been watching Bojack Horseman on Netflix lately. I started it a few years ago but quit because depression. I've hopped back on and am loving it but I know it ends and I'm preemptively sad, but I'm happy it's been something I can enjoy when I'm so often in a state of grey. The end of a TV can be a parallel to life, or a demonstration. It’s never easy to see something you love cease to be, in the grand schem...
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Window From Nowhere, To Everywhere

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Laying in my bed then suddenly I recognize a familiar tune. Its none other than the ice cream truck. I think "at this time of the year?" "In this weather?" and then I remember its almost june, then I look out my window and see that its very nice weather. I've been in my room so much, boxed in my four walls of solitude and comfort, that I lose grasp that there is an outside world. Living is happening out there, something I may never truly experience. About a month ago I got a random call from a friend, we chatted for awhile about all kinds of silly things. It was nice. He eventually started telling me about another friend of his, V, they've been friends since before we met. He tells me V has basically given up on life, plays MMO games all day, rarely leaves the house, has incredibly poor hygiene, accepts he'll be alone forever, no career prospects, no significant other, nothing. And he doesn't care anymore. He is in his mid 40s. I couldn't help bu...
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Partially Eaten Fish Head

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I am an addict.  Why would you do something that deliberately destroys you or your body , is what the thought that goes into my head when I hear about people addicted to hard drugs. Okay the thought isn't quite that generic but that's the point. You know what that drug is capable of, what it will almost undoubtedly do to your body, why start it? People start drugs for many reasons, I started my food (drug) as a child to cope. You're warned about drugs as a child, told not to smoke, stay away from alcohol, even condition to try not to get fat. But no one tells you that you can get addicted to food, and young child you cant articulate that you are addicted to food and have an emotional reliance on it too for the exact same reasons (what ever they may be) as some who is shooting up heroin or cocaine. Breaking the habit at any age is hard. Its strange being an adult, seeing the wrong and repeating it anyways. Its like you are on a little raft drifting down a river abou...
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