The Obese, And The Valuation Of Our Lives

I read a blog post recently from someone chronicling their weight loss, and in the post I remember this little line "I remember waking up everyday hoping it isn't wasn't my last." I hear, or read stories like these from the overweight a lot, and as someone who is overweight I've never shared that fear. I guess the honest truth is I've never really feared death, I mean sure we all did at some point as kids, but I cant recall a time since I've been aware that I'm overweight that I feared Id die over it, I acknowledged it, but didn't fear it. That's because Ive never lived a fulfilling life, Ive always looked around myself, or watched on TV, movies, the hallways of schools, my peers, and always said "Id rather have that, or that's what I want." I've never woken up one day worried if it would be my last, Ive woken up hoping my life would suddenly be different, I'd suddenly be someone else, that's what I wanted. The fear of losing my life wasn't there because I simply have never established value for it. When you are a kid the idea of dying is scary in part because of the association of the literal pain that comes with it, but as you grow up and your in pain everyday, week, year of your life emotionally, the physical doesn't seem to bother you as much anymore.

When I first seen The Biggest Loser the show meant the world to me, the Biggest Loser, particularly for the winners, is like winning the lottery. If you win multiple millions and and suddenly never have to worry about finances your quality of life would change forever, you'd have opportunities you never had before. If you win the Biggest Loser, you get all that and more. You win a hefty cash prize and a brand new body. Ive seen the transformations and have been stunned. The idea of breaking off from the world for several months losing every single pound that made you over weight, and going home with a life altering sum of money, well,  that's better than the lottery, and Ive fantasized about being on the show (I named my YouTube channel after it, after all) because if one wins the show it means a new life, the life they always wanted. Its an scenario that's worth a billion-trillion dollars to me.

I guess not all of us fear losing our lives we just long so much for something different, better, that ours don't matter.


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