The Beat Goes On

I've spent most the week with friends... It's been full of laughs and mostly good times. I get sucked out of it every so often and am in my dark place and do not like it. I've been observing my interactions with select friends quite thoroughly. There are two whom I just..... Don't know if that "ideal/future-self" would have any involvement with. I find myself feeling subtly offended, or disrespected at times, and I know I don't have them feeling the same at any time. We all know among friends, at times jokes are exchanged, that can be offensive, but are harmless. When I say I feel subtly offended by something, disrespected. I mean, a very toxic view, opinion, or attitude as been expressed.

They doesn't Necessarily have to pertain to me specifically either. I went home briefly today, and left again. My mom informed me some family from out of town invited her to a family BBQ for Memorial Day weekend. This branch of family is well aware of my weight loss, me being excluded from this one is far more insulting than the snub from last weekend. She's leaving very early in the morning. I'll be left to my own devices. I'll probably go home tomorrow and spend the weekend by myself. That could be good, could be bad.


  1. Why do you think they didn't include you in the invite?

    I'm not sure they were intentionally trying to be hurtful. Could be they thought you would still be at your friend's house or maybe they are aware of the social anxiety and didn't want to make you feel bad.

    If you really want to go, you should just ask! BBQ'd food is the best.

    1. I wasn't worth considering.

    2. I'm sure that's not the case Brandon.


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