Nephews, & A Slight Chemical Imbalance

- June 30, 2015

My nephew arrived late last night, so late I had already fallen asleep. I think some time this week I might go visit my dad, I'm not sure why, but I might, the very thought gives me feelings of resentment towards myself which. Find most unsettling. I suddenly realized I have therapy tomorrow, feels like it's been every other week the past four weeks. There was homework to do, some I could still do, and I might. Today my nephew wanted to go to Gamestop to get a new game, for some reason I had some Power Up rewards card with them, I can't remember when the last time I've been there. I only own a Wii U and Nintendo 3DS (I'm all about Nintendo, don't get me started!) and I only bought digitally (last year specifically) so it was an odd discovery. While looking online he noticed he could get a game he wanted cheaper with my rewards card. I told him he could use it and mom agreed to take him, unfortunately he wanted me to tag along, I made it clear I wasn't necessary to use the card but still, for some reason he wanted me to go, and reluctantly I went.

I loathe GameStop. It's small, overcrowded, and it's in public.... Also it's comically small, I mentioned that, but it really makes me stick out, and it's terrible when there are an abundance of people in there. Anyways I went, I swallowed my anxiety, and put on a regular face. There was ~~literally~~ figuratively no one in there when we arrived, lucky! It was in and out, and I was a little proud of myself for going. I could just have easily stayed home.

Late this afternoon my youngest nephew joined the fray. It's been an interesting afternoon, and past few days really. He is as obsessed with me as ever, at one point while he was distracted I tried hiding out in my moms room for some me-time, between him and my other nephew I was feeling a bit exhausted, but it didn't last, he became frantic in my absence, and my mom helped him seek me out, rats! It was adorable though.

I've been a bit irritable lately, it started a few days ago, but reached a new high today, I noticed I was on my moms case today about a lot of trivial things, and at one point even hurt her feelings, I caught myself and apologized for my behavior. I think it has a lot ~~(everything)~~ to do with the fact that I went two days without my depression medication, not intentionally! When they increased my dosage I started taking double of what I already had, I thought I had refilled them recently but I was lower than anticipated and ran out over the weekend. Saturday was my last day and it was only half a dosage. I'm starting to understand that I really can't play around with this medication and illness at all. I got my new increased prescription filled and am on the straight and narrow now, and will do a much better job of anticipating running out, so I won't have to go without.

3,450 calories is that maximum calories I can consume. Here's what I ate today

Breakfast