Reflecting upon the last year. All attempts at weight loss ended in failure, I was put back on blood pressure medications, a brother of mine was arrested, a global pandemic began, lowdown, weight gain, mental instability, my psychiatrist of over 5 years suddenly dropped me, a lot to unpack. Weight-gain was the theme of the year, after every weight loss attempt came regain 1.5x what I had lost. There was no motivation, I was running mechanically most the time hoping that suddenly something would spark and the rest would be automated, come naturally like it did years ago, but that didn't happen. I started walking at the park again, but it was ultimately short lived, I couldn't maintain the determination needed to keep that going. The worst part is my mom was relying on me. I do feel bad, but luckily she remained on a weight loss streak all year. She certainly didn't need me, though when I stopped walking so did she. Wondering where my rock-bottom is was a whole chapter of it...
