I have to lose this weight, I have to remember what I want. I want the  life I never had. I want to be able to enjoy things, to walk out in front of a crowd and not worry about if my weight is making them stare at me. I want to be able to buy cloths off any rack at virtually any store. I want to be able to fit in the rides at amusement parks, sit in the seats comfortably in movie theaters. I want to rediscover the world from a new perspective, I want so much more.

I have to get my focus back, I have to get my consistency back, I have to! I have to do it for me, for the guy that wrote those blog posts in 2015 at the precipice of complete and total mental implosion. He was so miserable all the time, physically and mentally, yet he kept on, he kept fighting because he had what he told himself was a delusion dream, but a dream nonetheless. That guy was so sad, he was so caged in, he was so hopeless, he would never believe how close we've come. I owe it to him to see this through to make it to the end. Things are changing, things have changed, things will change with continued loss. I have to stop being weak and take full control. I have to lose the rest of this weight.

People all around the world are watching my journey, and use me for a source of inspiration, imagine the lesson I could demonstrate by getting to my ideal weight. I'm doing this.

From 2015





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