Brandon, Who Lives At Home

Its Saturday, the day that begins the weekend reset. I'm ready for next week, today I really don't have anything planned, Ill be applying for some more jobs, I might have a movie marathon later on I'm not sure. I have switched from scrambled to boiled eggs. Personally Ive only enjoyed eggs scrambled, which technically is considered fried? I never called them fried eggs, but in an attempt to make healthier  eating decisions for now on, the eggs I have for breakfast will be boiled, and honestly its not so bad, boiled eggs have such an interesting consistency/texture. I have a weeks worth of multivitamins I plan to take next week, but it has some system, its a pack with like 6 different pills and its a whole thing. They are from some GNC Vitapak, I may not actually end up using them, and just end up getting some regular non-complicated vitamins. So next week I will be incorporating the video at the end of the post into my daily workouts. Today I was walking past my mother as...

The title, lyrics from one of my favorite bands and one of my favor songs, The All-American Reject's Move Along . It randomly popped up in my head at just the right time. I'm not going to give up, I pretty much see how sort of ridiculous my feelings have been the last 48 hours. Lifestyle changes are not easy, it took me 27 years, 27 years of gradually weight gain to put me here, and its not going to be lost over night, not even in a year, but a lot can be done in a year, more in two, and so on, and so on. I have to keep sight of what I want, and that is to be thinner, happier and healthier. Going back to work will be a new obstacle Ill have to adjust to, Ill have to endure the looks, the stares, the embarrassment, Ill have to live through my worst fears all over again, but I know these are the last of them, these are the final years of these bad experiences. Because I'm going to continuing losing weight, and the people and actions that intend to bring me down, will, but won...

 2/4/2015 In 2012 I started working for Target for a year after deciding to take time off from university. My life was going nowhere and in 2011 I decided to go back to school, but my social anxiety and crippling low self esteem made the experience awful. I stuck out like a sore thumb and I knew it and often it's all I could focus on. I had to get out of there. So after a year I decided to "break" and eventually got a job at target. I hated it and loved it. What I loved about target was my coworkers, I feel like I'll never be so fortunate to have another team of people so genuinely nice, and fun to work with. What I didn't like was the chronic pain I was in from standing. After standing for about 45 minutes each shift my feet would become inflamed and a tremendous pain would overcome me. Working 3 to 7 hours was excruciating, it made my life miserable and hindered my work experience. It would take a week for my feet to recover from just a days work, so when I ...

Do to car troubles I'm stuck here another day, I won't be home till noon tomorrow. Basically my week is a flop, no exercising so far and I'm just kind of all over the place about it. I feel too self conscious about working out in front of people, it sucks! February I was supposed to get results and I've started it off with a fizzle. Everything about this is just crap I know. I'm ready to put this week behind me, and slay the rest of the month, but as it stands Ive got a dark cloud hovering me this week. Bad decisions were made, I can't put myself in this situation ever again. My new life is at stake. Trying to be strong while feeling weak is rough, I'm been fighting myself from reverting to the old me that would have decided by now, because of my errors this week, the whole journey is a failure and quit. Sorry for anyone I'm letting down with my less than stellar week and behavior.

I'm still at my buddies I will be leaving tomorrow. I didn't do my miles yesterday, or today. And my eating has been off, not terrible, I wouldn't even say bad, but just off. I don't think I'll be coming as much and as long in the future. I don't think my lifestyle change is taken seriously enough, I feel encouraged to slip. I definitely perform  100% better at home, I could make better choices here, but it's like the temptation is built into the walls.  I like hanging with my friends (I think) but not at the cost of moving backwards, I promise guys it's back to business tomorrow. Here's some good news, some TMI. One of the reasons I used to hate coming here were the toilet. They are comically small, and freakishly low to the ground. Uncomfortable doesn't begin to explain my discomfort. This discomfort now has drastically changed into something a lot more civilized and I owe it all to what I've been doing the past month. So February is of...

   Well yesterday was the big game, and I must say I had a good time. There were some dudes on the field throwing a bowl and running from time to time before and after the halftime show, and between commercial breaks. Never mind that, the food was the nights real main event, honestly it was mostly dips, velvetta cheese dip with some kind of salsa infusion, skyline chili dip (an Ohio thing), there were also mini chicken quesadillas, bbq meatballs and a special veggie dish because, they took into account my diet (I was quite blown away by this). I had an early breakfast Sunday, bacon, eggs, toast. I skipped lunch because, duh, I was to take precautions in case I indulged in the Super Bowl delights, and sadly I did. I started off good, a few celery sticks and some peanuts, later I opted to try the dips, I basically had two servings of the Velveeta dip (with corn tortilla chips), and i tried a mini quesadilla (no beuno). At first I thought I kind of over did it, but then ...

Its the day of the biggest sporting event of the year, the Superbowl, and I'm going to a buddies Superbowl party. Ive actually been having second thoughts about going, honestly if I hadn't already committed to going I wouldn't, but I think it would be rather rude not to show up at this point. It isn't the food, but I tend to just get a lot of anxiety when I know I'm going to be in a group of people, even if its people Ive known half my life. The fear of being judged is still present, and the fear of being introduced to new people is also scary because, again, Id worry I'm being judged, it could all be in my head, but the thoughts always there. All the above being said, I'm going to try to have a good time, and enjoy myself and the commercials, and the company. It should be fun.I will be taking pictures, and maybe some videos so look forward to an update later on in the day, and if not Ill fill you guys in tomorrow on the festivities. Please take ...

What a week its been, another week of the 3 mile formula and it was full of mostly ups. Yesterday I wrote how I got a goods night sleep and the day felt promising, and it was a great day. I did my full 3 mile walk yesterday, and was so incredibly proud of myself, I was unsure how it would go leading up to it, but once I got started I knew I had what it took to get it done. Had to push myself, sometimes it feels like I knock the first mile out fast, yesterday was not one of those days, but I got through it, and the second, and the third. It seemed like I sweat more during that session than I have any single day that past four weeks, at least that's how it seemed. So if we take a look at the numbers last week I did a grand total of  13 miles, the most week sum yet, but the month is officially over so lets combined my total miles. Week 1: one mile a day. Week 2: two miles a day. Week 3: a mixed bag because I was sick, but it equaled to the week before. And this week I did 3 mile...

With how things have been rough lately, yesterday in-particular, I set out to make sure I wasn't having another 2AM sleep debut. So I set a bedtime,  ten o'clock, I decided that's when Id go to bed, Id put on a couple episodes of King Of Queens and drift off, and so I did. I ended up waking up at 5am (I had to take the trash out anyways) and felt great, the pain I had been waking up with most of the week was not present. I had a nice bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and the day has begun. I don't know if 6 hours of sleep is good but its great for me, I haven't slept like that in quite a long time. My knee seems to be feeling much better too and the prospects for the day look promising.

Well guys, I couldn't do it. I could not make it to 3 miles today. I got just barely got over one mile and called it quits. My body just wasn't being receptive. I woke up with some back discomfort that seemed to be fading way, but came back right as I got ready for my walk. I also have not been mentioning whats been going on with my knee. Lately my left-knee has been getting stiff and maybe even a little swollen. Ive had problems with this knee since I took a tumble in high school and broke my fall with it. Its given me problems before, I was suppose to get it looked at last year but I couldn't  afford to go under the machine they needed to use. They told me that their best guess was that I have some kind of ACL or other ligament damage, but they wouldn't know until  they could use the proper machinery. I was prescribed some anti-inflammatory and some steroidal medication and that seemed to make a subtle difference. But when my knee starts to get heavy usage it gets st...

Good morning everyone, its Thursday! The toughest parts of the week are over, and now we are at home stretch before the weekend. I got to bed really late last night, and I slept  so-so, woke up with back discomfort that seems to have died down quite a bit. Ready to knock this day out, I seem to have a strange amount of energy and umph this morning so today's 3 miles better look out, I'm coming in strong!

I tossed and turned all night throughout my sleep, and I got to bed quite late, actually I normally do. I woke up kind of aching all over. Had an egg and bacon sandwich for breakfast in addition to my regularly water in take. I don't know if Ive discussed this or not but Ive been drinking a lot of water. I have this big bottle (pictured below) that I fill up first thing in the morning and drink. I generally drink about a bottle and a half before i begin my exercise at 2pm, and at least another bottle full before the day is over.   Today I began my 3 miles a bit sluggish.  I just tried to go in with enthusiasm, and perhaps I did, but my body just wasn't into it. I was just struggling with it so much today and couldn't wait for it to be over, once I got to the one mile point I thought " this could be it, this is enough, at least I did something." But I charged ahead in spite of the defeatist mind frame I was in. It just seemed longer than ever, but I did it. ...