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I spent my Saturday in bed, once I arrived home and settled in. I listened to music, and laid with my thoughts. A most terrifying, haunting thought came to me sometime during the night. What if my irrelevance to people at large, isn't related to obesity, but it's just, me. That would mean losing the weight wouldn't change my importance to people like I thought. Ill be just as forgotten and overlooked. This thought made a  segway  into another. What if I don't develop that better personality? What if I lose the weight and I'm still me?


This haze seems to be lasting longer than previous spells. Maybe I'm becoming the haze, maybe I am the haze.

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